Changes
by cowbell2011
Summary: Sara comes to a few realisations, and decides to make some changes. Fair warning, this will involve an FF pairing so don't go any further if that isn't your thing.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Alrighty then, this is the first CSI fic I've posted on here. In fact it's the first fic I've posted that _isn't_****based on Spooks/MI5 so be gentle. I'm nervous. I've tried to be authentic and use American words for things, but being from the UK I may have missed a few, so apologies for that. Please feel free to correct me. And I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

'I'm sorry Gil. It's over.'

He looked like a broken man, sitting there on their couch, staring off into space and clearly in shock at her words.

_Our couch? More like my couch. I think this is the first time in 6 months that he's sat on it._

She felt slightly guilty at having sprung this on him right now. He'd only got back from Peru this morning. His suitcase wasn't even unpacked yet. But for the sake of her own sanity, she had wanted to get this over and done with as quickly as possible. She didn't think she could pretend for the whole week until he left again, this time for Columbia.

'Are you going to...say anything?'

She cursed herself for allowing the emotion to come through in her voice. She had wanted to stay strong in front of him. If he tried to plead and beg with her to give him another chance, she wasn't sure she could resist not falling back into the safety of their routine.

'Um...what can I say?'

She sighed. This should have been expected really. In all the years she had known Gil, she could count on one hand the number of times he had been emotionally forthright with her. When he proposed to her. When they got married. And the first time she had tried to break their marriage off. That time, she had relented when instead of convincing her with words, he had produced a magnificent plant he brought back with him from Peru for her.

_But I hadn't been sure then. I am now._

'I don't know Gil. But this is the most we've spoken in person in the last 4 months. I thought a marriage with you is what I wanted. But I don't have that. I have a marriage with my Skype account.'

He looked visibly hurt at that and she felt a tiny pang in her chest at having hurt his feelings.

_It's the truth though._

She turned her back to Gil then, not wanting him to see the emotions playing across her face.

_That's not the entire truth and you know it Sidle._

Shaking her head, she strode into the kitchen and busied herself with making them both some coffee. Right now, she did not want to deal with the _other_ reason she was asking for a divorce. That could wait.

_One step at a time._

Taking a deep breath, she returned to the living room with two mugs of steaming coffee and placed one in front of Gil. She held her own in both hands in front of her chest, like a barrier between the two of them. Not that they needed any more barriers, there was plenty of distance between them already, both figuratively and literally.

'I guess I'll go and check into a motel.'

Inwardly Sara was pleased.

_He's not going to try and change my mind_.

It would be so easy to carry on as they were, seeing each other for a few days every three months. But that wasn't really what was making her happy. And it had been her last case that had prompted her to take action. A young woman had been so unhappy with her life that she had taken an overdose. The husband hadn't even looked shocked. It was in that interrogation room that she had realised she never wanted to be in a position where she didn't care about her spouse. She wanted a loving relationship, with somebody who cared about her, and she saw more often than she did the FedEx delivery guy.

'Don't. I've already arranged to stay with Morgan until you go to Columbia. We can...sort out what to do with the apartment via e-mail whilst you're away.'

Draining the last of her coffee, she watched as Gil cocked his head in thought, no doubt already going over the logistics of such a plan. When he didn't offer up anything more by way of either acceptance or disagreement, she grabbed her car keys off the coffee table and made for the door.

'Sara...is Catherine working tonight? I'd like to see her before I leave the country again.'

The comment made Sara stop dead in her tracks.

_He couldn't know. Surely?_

When she replied, she tried in vain to keep the nerves out of her voice.

'Why um...why would I know that?'

Fail.

'Well, you still work the same shifts don't you? I figured you would know if she was taking a vacation day or something.'

Her shoulders had visibly tightened at the mention of the redheaded CSI's name, but she began to relax slightly when it became apparent that Gil genuinely just wanted to talk to his friend. Then she realised that she hadn't told him about the recent events. She'd wanted to tell him to his face, thinking he'd be upset about it.

_Well, here goes nothing. Be cool Sidle._

'Gil, she uh...she left. Took a job in DC with the FBI.'

She finally turned then, thinking her emotions were sufficiently under control to face Gil. The mention of Catherine had brought all sorts of emotions to the surface. Emotions she had promised herself only a matter of minutes ago she was going to push deep down within herself until she had sorted through her relationship with Gil.

_Like you could ignore them for long._

Composing herself, she watched Gil as he dissected this new information. She felt a little sorry for him that he hadn't had a chance to say goodbye to her. But then, there was nothing stopping him flying to DC to see her.

_Nothing except his precious bugs._

Finally he seemed to accept this new information and nodded his head slowly.

'Right. Yes. That's good for her.'

Not knowing what else to say, Sara nodded one last time before leaving the apartment in silence.

* * *

Morgan opened her front door to a very despondent looking Sara Sidle.

'So you did it huh?'

Sara merely nodded and waited for the other woman to stand aside and allow her entry to the apartment. Taking her bag from her, Morgan flung it into the guestroom before throwing herself onto the couch in typical young exuberance. It seemed she had taken it upon herself to cheer Sara up by being overly happy.

'Ok so, it's girly week then right? We can watch movies, eat popcorn, bitch about how my Dad runs the department...'

This gained a smile from Sara and Morgan grinned back like a small child.

'You know, you should cut him some slack. He's mellowing out in his old age.'

Never in her life had Sara ever thought she would be defending Ecklie, but hell, she was going for a few firsts in her life recently, what was one more?

Settling down beside Morgan on the couch, she watched as the younger woman idly flicked through hundreds of TV channels before finally settling on a cartoon.

'I'm having dinner with him tomorrow night. Who knows? Anyway, I'm more interested in the real reason you decided to break up with Grissom.'

Morgan shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth as she waited patiently for Sara's reply.

_What the hell? _

'I told you, we never see each other. It was like being married to my laptop.'

_Please believe me, please believe me._

Morgan reached for another handful of popcorn as she shrugged nonchalantly.

'Really? I figured it was 'cause you realised you were in love with Catherine.'

It was a good job Sara hadn't chosen to help herself to any of the popcorn on offer, because she would have promptly choked on it.

_WHAT. THE. HELL?_

The smirk on Morgan's face as she waited for a response told Sara there was no getting out of this one.

_Well, they do say honesty is the best policy. Here goes._

'Uh...yeah. Yeah I did.'

* * *

**A/N: Loved it? Hated it? Please let me know in a review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to everybody to reviewed the first chapter, or added an alert for it. Glad you liked. I hope this one is equally as enjoyable.**

* * *

'Aaaaaannnnnddd?'

Sara didn't think she had ever heard anybody draw out a three letter word as much as Morgan just had. She was impressed.

'And...what?'

Morgan sighed and threw her arms up in the air dramatically.

'And, are you going to, oh I don't know, _tell_ her?'

_Tell her? Tell her? Oh god, do I have to tell her?_

The younger CSI giggled at the panicked looked that appeared on Sara's face.

'It is customary to tell somebody that you love them, Sara.'

'No no no no. Not this time it isn't. I can't.'

Morgan cocked her head to the side briefly, seeming to think about something. Reaching for another handful of popcorn, she pointed it accusingly at Sara before putting it all in her mouth in one go.

'You're scared.'

Sara had to listen carefully around the mouthful of popcorn to hear what had been said, but she just about caught it.

'No I'm not.'

_Hell yeah I am._

'You think she won't love you back. You think she's straight. You think she's too good for you. You think it would never work anyway because she lives so far away now.'

Sara was too stunned at Morgan's insight and wealth of knowledge on the subject to say anything for a few minutes.

_How the hell does she know about any of this?_

'OK...she won't. She is. She is. And it wouldn't.'

Morgans brow furrowed slightly in confusion and Sara could tell she was mentally matching up the answers she had provided with the questions that had been posed a minute before.

_She looks kinda cute when she's thinking. Woah now Sidle. A few weeks of being in love with another woman and now you're as gay as a maypole? Pull it together._

'You're wrong on three and a half counts there.'

_Huh?_

'What do you mean?'

Again Morgan sighed dramatically, as if she was trying to teach a small child the alphabet rather than sort out her friend's love life.

'Come on Sara. The distance would only be a problem if you were with, oh I don't know, somebody like Grissom. Now, somebody like _Catherine..._distance? Not so much of a problem.'

Sara found herself nodding along to Morgan's logic. It did make sense. She knew Catherine well enough to know the redhead was passionate about everything she did. If she was in a long distance relationship, she would bust her balls to make sure it worked. Unlike her now ex-husband.

'You may be right there, but I don't believe you're right about the other things. And how can I be wrong on three and a _half_ counts?'

Seemingly fed up of continuously reaching forward for the bowl of popcorn, Morgan pulled it onto her lap as she giggled slightly.

'You might be a great CSI, but when it comes to people watching you're really no good. Catherine dates men _and_ women. So when you say she's straight. Well...you're half wrong.'

Once again Sara was glad of the fact she had not been eating or drinking at that moment for fear of choking in surprise.

_What is going on here? How does this relative newcomer to our group know so much about the woman of my dreams?_

'How do you know she dates both men and women?'

_I don't think I even want to know the answer._

'She told me.'

_Wait...what? _

'She told you? Why did she tell you that?'

_This conversation is getting far too surreal._

Morgan shrugged her shoulders and nodded her head matter of factly.

'Because I asked her.'

Sara felt like her head was going to explode with all this new information.

_She dates women. She wouldn't date me though, so what does it matter?_

Morgan seemed to take pity on her then. Placing the bowl of popcorn back onto the table, she turned on the couch and faced Sara, sitting cross legged and leaning forward excitedly. She reminded Sara of a teenager about to tell her friends about her first kiss.

'OK, I'll tell you what happened. But only because I feel sorry for you 'cause you look like a hopeless lovesick puppy right now.'

When she didn't immediately continue talking, Sara waved her hands impatiently to get her to continue with the story, eliciting a smirk from the younger woman.

'So, the day Catherine left we had breakfast. Kind of like a good luck/last piece of advice thing. At least, that's what she said it would be. But it actually turned out to be a 'let's compliment Sara Sidle' meeting.'

Sara couldn't help blushing at this. She didn't think she would ever get used to people paying her compliments. She didn't think she was worth it.

'Basically her advice to me was...do everything you do and go to you if I ever needed help. She said...she said she couldn't have gotten through so many years at the lab without you there with her.'

_She said what? She...she...oh my._

'So that's when I realised mayyyyyyybe something else was going on here. And so I asked her if she was in love with you. And she got all flustered like you did before and said _exactly _the same things about you as you did her. You're straight, you're too good for her yada yada yada. It's creepy how similar the conversation was actually.'

Sara wasn't completely sure, but she thought she might have been able to catch a few flies, her mouth was hanging so far open. Eventually she found her voice though.

'She's...in love with me?'

'Well...duh! But I didn't know that _you _were in love with _her _at that point, what with you being married and all. So I told her she was lucky to have you as a friend and to keep in touch. Of course, since she left you've been moping around like a wet weekend, so it didn't take me long to realise you feel the same way.'

_She loves me. She. Loves. Me._

The crunching of popcorn was the only sound in the room as Morgan allowed Sara to absorb all the new information. It was a lot to take in, and Sara didn't quite know what to think about it all.

'So?'

It took Sara a moment to realise Morgan had even spoken.

'Huh?'

'Are you going to talk to her? Go after her? Declare your undying love for her?'

Morgan's voice had taken on a caring tone, compared to her joking persona she had previously been displaying. It was obvious to her that Sara was struggling to take in everything she had said and she needed to be a bit more serious from now on.

'I don't know Morgan. Washington is a long way. California, maybe. But we're talking the other side of the country.'

The blonde CSI leaned forward and placing a comforting hand on the older woman's knee, squeezing it for good measure.

'Love knows no bounds Sara.'

They smiled at each other in a comfortable silence for a few minutes until the loud beeping of both of their phones interrupted the moment. Both women sighed simultaneously as they read the message from their supervisor.

'DB out in the desert. Guess we plan your romantic get away to Washington tomorrow huh?'

Sara laughed and shoved Morgan playfully as they grabbed their stuff and prepared to leave.

_Could I really go and see her? She loves me. Yes, I can._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi guys, thanks again for reviewing. I guess I should also point out that i don't own CSI or anything related, just borrowing it, yada yada yada. I'm going away on holiday in a couple days so this will be my last update for 2 weeks. I hope it's enough to get you through until I get back!**

* * *

Sara waited patiently as the first responding officer explained the situation to Morgan and herself. She could see Nick and David across the road already tending to the body and was anxious to get started.

'So then I called it in and...'

'Great, thanks. We've got it from here.'

The sound of Morgan interrupting the officer and effectively sending him on his way brought her thoughts back to the present.

_She's so much like me it's unreal._

Sharing a slight smirk, they crossed the road and approached Nick and David just in time to hear the assistant coroner giving an initial COD.

'COD appears to be blunt force trauma. See the injury on the back of her head here? I'll know more when I get her back to the morgue but the shape of the injury appears consistent with the butt of a large gun. Perhaps a rifle or shotgun. There are also um...signs of sexual trauma.'

_Dammit. Why did I have to catch this case. Alright, focus Sara._

'Any evidence around the body Nicky?'

Her voice wavered only slightly when she spoke, and if any of her three companions noticed it, they chose not to say anything. By now, her co-workers were well aware of Sara's sensitivity towards cases involving abused women. They all knew better than to call her on it, even Morgan who had only been with the team a short while compared to everybody else.

'I got small pieces of what look to be torn clothing here, as well as scrapings from underneath the victims fingernails. If you don't mind, I'm gonna ride back with Dave here and get these to Hodges while you guys process the scene.'

Sara nodded at the Texan man, grateful for his eagerness in building their case against their as of yet unknown suspect. She watched as he gathered up his bags of evidence and left with David before turning to Morgan who was waiting patiently, kit in hand.

'You take the surrounding area, I'll take that car over there. It's the only thing apart from sand and road as far as the eye can see. It must be involved somehow.'

Morgan nodded in acceptance of Sara's suggestion and dropped her kit where she stood, beginning her work with the area where the body had been found. Sara left her without another word and carried her own kit towards the abandoned car. Shining her flashlight into the windows, it was clear to see that somebody appeared to have been living in the car. There were blankets in the back seat, clothing piled high on the floor and various food and drink wrappers littering the front seats.

_Great, just what we need. Another Jane Doe with no hope of being identified._

Sighing, Sara reached into her kit for some evidence bags and began meticulously photographing the interior of the car, removing each item of evidence one piece at a time. It was going to take hours to process everything, she quickly realised, and she hoped Morgan wouldn't take too long before coming to help. Sara thought for a moment about simply taking the entire car and all of its contents back to the lab to analyse before remembering the automobile lab was currently full up with a case Russell was working.

_A murder in a valet car park. Four cars as evidence. Boy has he got his hands full. And what I wouldn't give to trade places with him right now._

No, the car would have to be processed here and then sent straight to the impound. Her only saving grace was that the sun was shining and the notorious Vegas showers were currently nowhere in sight.

Whilst working, Sara's thoughts were inevitably drawn towards Catherine. She wondered what she was doing right now. If she was enjoying her new job. If she had found new friends, even a new lover.

_Stop right there Sidle. That way lies madness. Besides,she loves you remember? _

A small smile appeared on her face when Sara recalled her conversation with Morgan earlier in the night. Could it really be possible? What would Catherine say if she went to Washington and told her how she felt?

_Well that's never going to happen if you don't get your ass in gear and finish processing this car Sidle!_

Sara was interrupted in her argument with herself by the sound of her phone ringing. Seeing Nick's name on the screen she answered quickly.

'Hey Nicky what you got for me?'

'Hey Sara, Hodges is still working on the pieces of fabric I recovered but we got a hit on the fingernail scrapings. DNA came back to an unknown male on previously unsolved cases in three different states. Looks like we've got ourselves a serial killer here.'

* * *

Sara's whole body stiffened when she heard Nick's news, and she hung up the phone with a quiet 'thanks' before letting it drop to her lap. Staring out the windscreen of the abandoned car, she tried not to let her feelings overcome her. There was no longer reliable Grissom to keep her grounded. And no Catherine, friend or otherwise, to run to either, so she was going to have to struggle through this case alone.

_So there's some bastard out there raping and killing women. We'll get him. We'll get him. Oh God. Please let us get him._

Taking a deep breath, Sara steeled herself against the wave of emotion and pushed it far back down. Gripping her camera tightly she continued her processing of the car in a professional manner. And so she found herself, sprawled over the front passenger seat, stretched painfully across the gear shift and reaching underneath the pedals for a small piece of evidence when she heard Brass calling her name.

'Sara, I've got a witness here you might want to talk to about this serial killer.'

Ignoring him for the moment, she continued to stretch with her tweezers for the shiny object lodged behind the accelerator of the car.

_Why does he always choose the most inopportune moments to introduce witnesses to me?_

'Not now Jim, I'm pretty busy. Can you see if Morgan will talk to them please?'

What Sara heard next made every muscle in her body freeze.

'I was hoping to speak with you, CSI Sidle.'

_Oh. My. God._

A voice she hadn't expected to hear for the foreseeable future. A voice that sent shivers down her spine and butterflies to her stomach. Quickly extricating herself from the car, evidence momentarily forgotten, she stood up and turned to face the newcomer. Her breath caught in her throat when she came face to face with somebody she hadn't seen for weeks.

'Catherine.'

* * *

_She's here. She's really here. Standing in front of me. Wait, why is she here?_

'Catherine.'

Sara inwardly cursed herself for not being able to say anything other than Catherine's name.

_Great. Now she's going to think you're an idiot Sidle. Smarten up._

Upon seeing Catherine's smirk, Sara mentally shook herself down and flashed one of her famous gap toothed smiles.

'It's great to see you. When did you uh...I mean, how come you're here? You're a witness on this case?'

_Oh man, she looks great. I always loved her in a suit. And those glasses, oh boy. And the shirt, the cleavage...Shit, look up Sara, look up!_

She could have sworn she saw a flash of disappointment flash across Catherine's features at her getting straight down to business, but the look was gone as quickly as it had appeared and she tried to focus on what the redheaded beauty before her was saying. Thankfully, neither Cath nor Brass had appeared to notice her checking the redhead out.

'Well not a witness per se. Since the suspect has crossed state lines, I've been called in to liaise on this between the different police departments. We need to catch this bastard before he kills again.'

A blush started to creep up Cath's cheeks and Sara could tell there was something more she wanted to say. She urged her on by waving her hand encouragingly.

'And I uh, I missed you...guys.'

Her last word was whispered so quietly that Sara could have thought it was only added for Brass' benefit, who was still standing beside the two women, albeit a lot more awkwardly than before. He seemed to sense he was intruding then and coughed slightly before moving off to speak with Morgan.

'Well um...we missed you too Cath.'

_She missed me. Yay! Go me!_

'How's Grissom?'

Sara jerked in shock then. It was the last thing she had expected Catherine to say.

'He uh...well, probably not great to be honest. I asked him for a divorce tonight.'

A look of hope flashed over Cath's eyes and Sara knew she had not misinterpreted it this time.

_Oh. My. God. Morgan's right. _

'Oh right. I'm uh...sorry to hear that.'

The sincerity was nowhere to be found in Catherine's voice.

_No you're not. And neither am I._

The two women stared at each other without any further words being exchanged. They seemed to be looking deep into the other's soul. Sara wanted so badly to pull the other woman into a fierce embrace and kiss her like her life depended on it, but it was neither the time nor the place and she was still not 100% sure that the feelings would be reciprocated. There was still that lingering doubt that she could not seem to get rid of.

'Listen Cath, I've got my hands full here with this car. What say you give me a hand then we can get back to the lab and catch up?'

Catherine nodded and flashed Sara a smile that left her speechless and weak at the knees. It was all Sara could do to stay standing and stare after the beauty as she walked towards the semi processed car.

_Oh boy, do I love her._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So I arrived back in the UK yesterday to rain, wind and even a little snow today. Marvellous. Back to Tenerife I go! On the plus side, the miserable weather has allowed me to get this out to you quickly. I hope it doesn't disappoint.**

* * *

'I think this...'

Catherine leaned across the layout table, reaching for a piece of evidence. In the process, her arm lightly brushed across Sara's breast, causing the brunette to shiver lightly.

'...is the key here. It's the first fingerprint we've found at any other scene. Has it turned up any hits? Sara?'

Sara hadn't heard the rest of Catherine's sentence. The moment the contact had happened her mind had begun wandering into dangerous places.

_It's all I can do not to jump her right this second._

'Sara? Are you OK?'

The hand on her arm pulled her back into reality and she rather reluctantly pushed thoughts of a naked Catherine out of her mind.

'Huh? Oh yeah I'm fine. Sorry I must have zoned out there for a second. I'm beat. Wanna go get some coffee?'

Catherine gave her a funny look for a moment, as if not quite convinced with the explanation before seeming to accept it and nodding slightly. When Catherine began to walk away Sara could not help but stare at her retreating form. The shining red hair, the sexy ass, the long slender legs. She was beautiful. Suddenly, Sara realised the legs were no longer moving away from her, and had in fact turned to face her.

_Oh shit. Busted._

With great trepidation Sara lifted her eyes to meet Catherine's, expecting to see anger. Instead, she was shocked to see Catherine smirking at her.

'See something you like Sidle?'

Sara spluttered, partly embarrassed at having been caught ogling the woman she loved and partly shocked that Catherine seemed to have taken it in her stride and responded to it in a positive manner.

_More like something I'm crazy in love with._

'I um...I mean...yeah?'

Shrugging her shoulders and blushing profusely, Sara looked sheepishly at Catherine who was continuing to smirk. When Catherine started to move back into the room and into Sara's personal space the brunette involuntarily tensed at the closeness.

_I can't keep my hands off her if she stays this close to me any longer._

When Catherine leaned forward she placed her hands either side of Sara on the edge of the layout table, effectively pinning her in place. Her hair tickled Sara's face when she leaned in and her lips grazed her ear softly when she spoke.

'I hope so. Because I can certainly see something I like.'

When Catherine stepped back she let her hands trail down Sara's arms, squeezing her hands gently before leaving her personal space. The younger woman's mouth was open in shock and Cath was pleased she was having this effect on her. Deciding that was far enough for now, she gave what she hoped was a sexy smirk before leaving without another word and heading for the locker room.

_What the hell was that? _

Sara found herself gripping the edge of the table to keep herself upright. Her legs were shaking and her heart was pounding in her chest. Had Catherine really just come on to her?

_There's only one way to find out. Go after her Sidle!_

Quickly putting away the evidence that was still laid out on the table, Sara walked purposefully to the locker room. The door was visible from the layout room and she hadn't seen Catherine leave while she was packing away so she knew she was still inside. She just hoped that nobody else was in there too. Opening the door she was relieved to see her prayers seemed to have been answered. Catherine was sat on one of the benches, leaning back on her hands. It gave Sara a good view of her cleavage and she had to bite her lip at how beautiful Cath looked at that moment. There was nobody else in sight.

'What was that?'

Catherine smiled, but didn't say anything. This slightly infuriated Sara. She had wanted to have this conversation at a more appropriate time, not in the locker room at work because Catherine had come on to her.

_What are you complaining about? You love her. You've been missing her for weeks and now you're complaining about her coming on to you? Get a grip!_

When it became obvious Catherine wasn't going to speak, she decided to elaborate. Waving her hands between them in a 'to and fro' gesture, she continued.

'This. Us. What just happened?'

Feeling brave, the brunette sat down on the bench close to Catherine, one leg either side so that she was straddling it. She placed her hands in the small gap between them while she waited for Catherine to respond.

'Did you miss me while I was gone?'

The question threw Sara slightly off guard. She had been expecting Catherine to respond to her question, not reply with one of her own. Deciding it would be best to be honest, she looked Catherine in the eye when she replied.

'Like nothing else.'

The nerves were causing her hands to shake, and she looked intently at them as the silence in the room stretched on.

_I got it wrong. She doesn't feel the same. She must have just been messing with me. I need to get out of here._

Prepared to flee, Sara was surprised when she felt two hands close over hers. The soft skin of Catherine's fingers traced over her own with a gentleness she hadn't experienced in a long time. It made her stomach flip and her mouth extremely dry.

'Me too.'

Sara looked up then, and found herself looking into bright blue eyes. Catherine seemed just as nervous as her but managed a small smile that Sara eagerly returned.

'What does this mean Catherine?'

She cursed herself for not being able to keep the emotion out of her voice. Catherine was looking at her with such hope and love in her eyes that it took all of her willpower from leaning forwards and kissing her.

'One of the reasons I left Vegas was because...because I couldn't spend any longer seeing you with Gil. It hurt too much. I wanted to be the one you went home to at night. The one to make you happy. And it was killing me that I couldn't.'

For a minute Sara was too stunned to move or say anything.

_Catherine felt like this before she left? How did I not know this? _

'How long?'

When Cath looked at her with a confused look on her face she elaborated, tightening her grip on the older woman's hands in the process.

'How long have you felt like that?'

'A little over a year. Listen Sara, I'm not expecting anything here. I know you've only just split up with Gil. And hell, I don't even know if you feel the same way. But I just wanted you to know...I can't stop thinking about you.'

_She thinks I don't feel the same way? How could she possibly think that?_

Catherine must have taken Sara's silence as an indication that she didn't feel the same, because she stood up to leave with a look on her face that broke Sara's heart. Moving quickly, she reached out and grabbed the older woman by the arm. Cath resisted and continued to try to walk away but Sara was not willing to let go. Their momentum brought Sara up off the bench and she used the movement to grab Catherine around the waist and push her against the lockers behind them.

They were now face to face, inches apart. The contact of their bodies caused both women's breathing to increase and Sara found that her hands were caressing Catherine's hips without her even realising it.

'I do. Feel the same way I mean. I didn't realise it until you had left, but I find that I just can't get you out of my mind.'

Ever so slightly the two women were inching closer and closer to each other. Both seemed too scared to make the final move, but when Catherine whispered Sara's name the tension became too much and the brunette closed the distance between them. Their lips met softly in a gentle kiss. Sara had never felt this happy in her entire life.

_I'm kissing Catherine Willows. Holy shit!I OK Sara, focus._

Sara moved her hands up from Catherine's hips to caress her sides through the thin material of her shirt. When Cath tried to deepen the kiss by tugging Sara's bottom lip between her teeth, the younger woman lost all sense of everything around her. Clinging to Catherine to keep her upright she moaned into the kiss and allowed the older woman to take control. Both women were so involved with each other that they didn't notice the door to the locker room open until they heard somebody coughing uncomfortably in the doorway. When they pulled apart Sara froze at the sight of the person who had walked in on them.

'Shit. Gil.'


	5. Chapter 5

'Shit. Gil.'

Before either woman could do anything Gil had backed out of the locker room and disappeared, a shocked look on his face. Sara stepped back from Catherine, suddenly less sure of the situation than she had been a moment ago. There was awkwardness between them, and the brunette could tell that Catherine didn't have a clue what to say.

'I should uh...go after him. To explain.'

_Not that I'd know where to even start._

When Catherine nodded but didn't speak, Sara took it as her cue to leave and she began inching her way towards the locker room door, unable to take her eyes off the woman who had captured her heart.

_Please say something. Anything. Tell me you don't regret it._

When her hand was on the doorknob and Catherine still hadn't spoken, she allowed her shoulders to slump in defeat and turned to leave the room. The sound of the older woman's voice stopped her in her tracks.

'Sara? I don't regret what just happened.'

_Thank God._

Sara turned, a huge smile on her face.

'Me neither.'

* * *

Gil was on the roof when Sara found him, looking out over the city. She approached him slowly, unsure of how he would react to her presence. Stopping a few feet away from him, she coughed lightly to alert him to her presence and began to wrack her brain for what to say. When he turned to face her she could tell from his expression that he was more upset than angry, which made her feel incredibly guilty.

_You haven't done anything wrong. Just be honest with him._

'Were you carrying on with her behind my back? Even before she left?'

_OK, I wasn't expecting that._

'What? No, of course not. Gil, that was the first time we've uh...you know, kissed. I'm sorry you had to see it.'

He sighed in relief and leaned back against the railings. His clothes were crumpled and he was unshaven. It was obvious to Sara that he hadn't slept either. Clearly he wasn't taking their separation as well as she had hoped he would.

'But you asked me for a divorce because of her.'

Sara took a moment to compose herself before leaning against the railings beside him, scuffing the dusty ground with her work boot. The sound of the city going about its business behind them was soothing and she was glad of something to fill the awkward gaps in their conversation.

'Yes. No. Partly. The reasons I gave you before were genuine but...yes, realising my feelings for Catherine did have something to do with it. I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.'

Gil turned to look out over the city, gripping the railings with both hands. Sara could see the whites of his knuckles, indicating the strength of his grip. Not knowing what else to say, she simply stood there in silence in case her soon to be ex husband felt the need to say anything else. He seemed deep in thought and she didn't want to interrupt him by speaking or walking away. Finally he seemed to gather himself, and he turned once more to face her.

'So you love her?'

Sara hesitated. Did she tell him the truth and potentially hurt him even more?

_You owe him the truth Sidle. Grow a pair._

'Um, I think so. Yes. Yes I do.'

She saw him close his eyes in pain and felt guilty for being the cause of it. It wasn't like she had any control over who she fell in love with, but the whole situation could have been handled better in her opinion.

'If you're happy I'm happy. I'll see you before I leave the country again.'

And with that he was gone, leaving Sara alone on the roof with her thoughts.

* * *

'Thank God you're up here. I was beginning to think you'd run away to Canada or something.'

There was a lightness to Catherine's voice but Sara could tell it was forced and that deep down she really had been scared that she had ran away. She threw the older woman a smile that she hoped showed there had been nothing to worry about and inclined her head to indicate for Catherine to join her leaning against the cool metal bars. The redhead obliged, but left a safe distance between the two of them, still unsure of how to act around the other woman.

'How was Gil? I saw him as he was leaving. He just nodded at me and didn't say a word.'

Sara closed her eyes and bowed her head at that admission.

_It could have gone worse I suppose. At least he doesn't hate me or Catherine._

'He said as long as I'm happy then he's happy.'

She heard Catherine exhale loudly beside her and opened her eyes to find clear blue orbs staring intensely back at her.

'And are you?'

Catherine's words were barely above a whisper, her voice wavering with emotion at the importance of the answer. Sara found herself falling deeper and deeper under the older woman's gaze and had to drag her eyes away with great difficulty in order to be able to form a reply.

'Um, that depends...'

At Catherine's confused gaze, Sara decided to inject a little humour into the situation. She'd done enough heavy thinking for today and now just wanted to enjoy the fact that the woman of her dreams felt the same way about her.

'...On how long it takes you to kiss me again.'

Sara had to grab the railing to keep herself standing when she felt Catherine's lips against her own for the second time that day. The kiss was soft and gentle, and Catherine's thumb tracing patterns on her cheek only added to the perfection of the moment. When the redhead pulled away after only a few seconds, it left Sara wanting much more and without even thinking she was leaning forward to recapture those perfect lips. This caused Catherine to chuckle, and she relented with another quick kiss before sliding out of Sara's grasp.

'We're still at work Sidle. And I don't want to get sent back to DC early for canoodling with members of the crime lab on FBI time. Have dinner with me tonight?'

Whilst waiting for an answer Catherine was chewing her lip nervously.

_That is the most adorable thing I've ever seen. How could anybody say no to that?_

Sara nodded eagerly before grabbing Cath's hand and dragging her towards the door that led back into the labs.

'I'd love to. Oh, and Catherine? Who says canoodle anymore these days?'


	6. Chapter 6

Catherine would be arriving to pick Sara up for their date any time now and the young brunette still was not ready. Throwing various items of clothing onto her bed, she continued rummaging in her closet for something that would impress the object of her affection.

_Date. I'm going on a date with Catherine Willows!_

Sara had spent the better part of the day wandering around with a dreamy look on her face, unable to believe that Catherine had asked her to go to dinner. She had been unable to concentrate on any work properly, causing Catherine to regularly smirk at her erratic behaviour in the lab. Things had come to a head when Greg had asked her for some of the drugs she had been taking. She had blushed profusely and made a determined attempt to concentrate properly on her work. It had worked until Catherine had left the lab, an extra swing in her step that she knew the redhead had added just for her. The drool had been embarrassing and she was glad nobody had been around to see it.

'That woman will be the death of me.'

Sara mumbled to herself whilst still flinging items from her wardrobe. As if on cue, the doorbell for her apartment went and she froze in panic.

'Just a second!'

She hoped Catherine had heard her through the door and didn't think she was leaving her waiting out in the hallway. Grabbing the nearest garment she could find that appeared to match her tight black jeans, she ran her fingers shakily through her hair while checking her appearance in the mirror. Hurrying to her front door, she took a moment to compose herself and calm down her breathing.

_It's only Catherine, you've known her years. Wait, ONLY Catherine? Come on Sidle, you've wanted this for weeks. Now. Open. The. Door._

Dismissing her internal argument, the brunette swung the door open and her mouth promptly fell open in shock. Catherine was wearing a short deep blue dress that clung to her curves as if it had been painted on. There was a slit on one leg that showed her enough thigh to keep her imagination going for weeks. Slowly allowing her eyes to move upwards, she gulped audibly when Cath's cleavage came into view, before finally settling on the redhead's smirking face.

'I see the shop assistant wasn't lying about this dress then. Close your mouth Sidle.'

This seemed to snap Sara out of her reverie and she stepped aside quickly to allow Catherine entrance to her apartment, blushing in the process.

'Cath, you look...wow. I mean, uh...yeah. Wow.'

_Eloquent Sidle. Eloquent. Making good use of your college education there._

Catherine chuckled and leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on Sara's cheek. The older woman gave her the once over and let her hands graze down Sara's arms to rest on her hips. She leaned in again then, this time to whisper in the younger woman's ear.

'And you, Sara Sidle, look like you got dressed in the dark.'

Sara replied without thinking, expecting the words out of Catherine's mouth to have been a compliment.

'Thank you. Wait, what?'

Looking down at herself she heard Catherine laughing as she realised that in her haste to open the door, she had put her top on inside out. Groaning, she slumped down on the arm of the couch and put her head in her hands.

_What the hell Sidle! Dressing yourself is one of the most basic of human functions. You can't even do that yourself now? Get a grip!_

She felt Catherine place a hand under her chin and lift her head so that their eyes could meet.

'I think it's sweet that you're so flustered over our date that you couldn't dress yourself properly. Me, I tried on nearly 20 outfits before I left the house.'

Without waiting for a reply, Catherine leaned in and joined their lips in a heated kiss. Whereas their first two kisses had been soft and gentle, this one was passionate and quickly deepened when Catherine ran her tongue over Sara's lips. Taking the hint, the brunette allowed her access and could not help the groan that escaped her throat when the older woman began sucking on her bottom lip. Extremely reluctantly, she pulled away to end the kiss and paused a moment to catch her breath.

'If you carry on doing that, we won't end up leaving my apartment.'

'And?'

Cath looked at her seductively and not for the first time Sara was struck speechless by the older woman's openness regarding her feelings. Feeling a blush beginning to creep over her cheeks yet again, she rushed into her bedroom and pulled her top off. She was on her hands and knees searching for a replacement when the sound of Catherine's voice from the doorway made her jump.

'I think you should go out like that.'

Out of habit, Sara whirled round and grabbed the nearest item of clothing she could reach, covering her bra clad chest to protect her modesty. Catherine's smirk faltered then, realising she had made the younger woman uncomfortable.

'I'm sorry Sara, I didn't mean to offend you or anything.'

Hastily pulling on a simple black shirt, Sara approached Catherine and pecked her on the lips twice, gaining a small smile from the older woman.

'No, it's me. I'm just _really_ nervous, you know? I've um...I've never been with a uh, a woman before.'

This caused the smirk to reappear on Catherine's face.

'Never?'

Sara shook her head no, suddenly finding her carpet extremely interesting.

'Hey...it's just me. I like you for who you are. So just carry on being that and you'll be fine. OK?'

This seemed to pacify Sara and she smiled cheekily at Catherine.

_God I love this woman._

'Ready to go then?'

Catherine nodded and followed Sara out of the apartment. They hadn't even gotten to the end of the corridor before Catherine slipped her hand into Sara's, causing the brunette to smile widely.

_Now this, I could get used to._

* * *

Sara couldn't tell you what she had eaten at the restaurant. She couldn't tell you what the waiter who had served them looked like. Hell, she couldn't even tell you what the place they had been to was called. But she could tell you exactly how high on her thigh Catherine's hand had been resting since they had been picked up by the cab that was currently taking the two women back to her apartment.

_This is it. This is how I'm going to die. Sexual frustration. Well, as COD's go, I suppose it's not bad. If only she could move her hand a bit...no! Bad Sidle. Think clean, pure thoughts._

Catherine continued to trace light circles on the jean clad thigh of her companion, oblivious to the effect she was having on her. They had settled into a comfortable silence on the journey home, Catherine's head resting on Sara's shoulder as they occasionally exchanged a few words here and there. The fact that Sara had instructed the cab driver to drop them both off at her own apartment had not been lost on Catherine, and both women were now wondering what that would mean when they arrived at their destination.

'Do you uh...want to come in for some coffee when we get back or would you like me to drive you straight home?'

_Coffee. Always coffee. Please say coffee._

The touch on her thigh disappeared and Sara was equally disappointed and pleased. At least now she would be able to think clearly, although she missed the older woman's touch terribly already.

'I'd love some...coffee, thanks.'

Sara released a breath she had not realised she had been holding and nodded, placing a kiss on the top of Catherine's head. The feeling of the cab coming to a halt jolted them out their respective thoughts and Sara quickly paid the driver, helping Catherine out of the vehicle. They reached the front door and Sara retrieved her keys from her bag. Her hands were shaking so much that she struggled to get the key in the lock. Catherine noticed, and placed her own hands over those of the younger woman's. She smiled what she hoped was a reassuring smile and hoped that her disappointment didn't show too much in her voice when she spoke.

'Sara, if you'd like I can just get a cab back to mine. I don't want to push you into anything you don't want to do.'

Sara squeezed the long slender fingers wrapped around her own reassuringly and couldn't help the images that ran through her brain at what those hands could do to her if she gave them a chance.

_No. No. Clean thoughts remember Sidle?_

'No. I want you to come in Cath. Besides, it's just coffee right?'

Sara finally got the front door open and stood aside to allow Catherine entry first. The older woman kissed her on the cheek as she passed, smirking at the previous comment.

'Yeah. Coffee.'


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you to everybody who has reviewed/subscribed to an alert so far. Glad you're enjoying it!**

* * *

The coffee sat on the table in front of them, steam rising from the two mugs. Catherine had waited patiently on the couch while Sara had made them, not trusting herself to keep her hands off the gorgeous brunette if she had followed her into the kitchen. After Sara's earlier admission that she had never been with a woman, the last thing the redhead wanted to do was scare her off by being too forward. She had waited a long time for this moment and she wasn't about to ruin it by letting her libido get the better of her.

'You know, you can touch me Catherine. You look like you're about to fall off the edge over there.'

Sara's chuckle that accompanied her comment seemed to put the redhead at ease and she shuffled closer on the couch, intertwining their fingers loosely. Neither woman reached for their drink just yet, and the beverages were momentarily forgotten about.

_She looks so beautiful. Should I tell her that? I should. OK here goes._

'I had a really great time tonight Cath. You uh...you look beautiful.'

Sara leaned forward and tucked a stray lock of blonde hair behind Catherine's ear, barely able to disguise the shaking in her hand as she did so. She was rewarded for her actions with a shy smile from Catherine and a blush that tinged her cheeks slightly pink.

_Adorable._

Catherine tugged lightly on Sara's hand and the brunette felt herself falling forward towards her companion. She managed to stop the two of them from banging heads by using her free hand to brace herself against the arm of the couch. At Catherine's cheeky smirk, she looked down to notice the position the redhead had manoeuvred them into. Without even realising it, Sara's legs had moved to straddle Catherine's waist and she was now practically on top of the older woman. Their faces were only inches apart and she could feel Catherine's hot breath tickling her cheek as she squirmed beneath her.

_If this goes any further I'm not going to be able to stop myself. Hell, do I even want to stop this?_

Catherine rolled her hips against Sara then, causing friction between the two women that Sara found highly pleasurable.

_What was I saying?_

The coffees were well and truly forgotten as Sara closed the small distance between them and captured Catherine's lips in her own. The kiss was passionate and the brunette could feel how much Catherine wanted her in the way the redhead was running her hands quickly up and down her back. Before she had a moment to comprehend what was happening, Catherine had broken off their kiss and whipped Sara's top off over her head.

'If you don't want this to happen, you'd better stop me right now.'

The words were mumbled against Sara's neck and the brunette had trouble making them out in her pleasure filled daze. Catherine was using her teeth to nip and nibble at the skin on her neck and it was driving her crazy. She felt nervous fingers fiddling with the clasp of her bra and reached behind herself to help the process along.

'We should move this to the bedroom.'

There was so little conviction in her voice that she wasn't surprised at all when Catherine completely ignored her and carried on kissing her neck. The clasp of her bra now undone, Sara threw the offending item to the floor and allowed Catherine a moment to look at her topless for the first time.

'Beautiful.'

There was no time for Sara to respond to the comment before Catherine leaned up and began to kiss the newly exposed skin. So involved were both women in what they were doing that neither of them heard the front door open and close until it was too late.

'Hey Sara, I stopped by the store on the way home and got you some of those...boobs! Your boobs. Oh my God. I'm so sorry.'

Morgan had whirled round with such force in order to avert her eyes that she clattered into the bookcase standing by the hallway. Making sure her back was still towards the two women, she began to shuffle across the room towards her bedroom.

'I'll just uh...go in here. In my room. Where there are no boobs. Except mine of course. I was going to see if you wanted to catch a movie, but I uh...guess you found someone...THING! Some_thing_ better to do.'

The second Sara had realised they were not alone she had leapt up from the couch, frantically searching for her bra and top on the living room floor. Once decent, she crossed the room in a few large strides and caught up to Morgan before she could escape into her bedroom. Seeing Catherine smirking on the sofa, she flashed her a mock glare on the way past.

'You're not helping.'

This only made Catherine chuckle even more.

'Morgan, wait. I'm so sorry. We just got carried away, and well um...weren't you supposed to be staying at your father's tonight?'

Morgan took Sara's proximity as a sign that she was now decent and turned to face her, a huge smile on her face.

'He got called in on a case. But that's not important right now. I see you and Catherine have had a little _chat._'

Morgan's eyebrows moved up and down suggestively when she spoke and Sara couldn't help but blush at her friend's teasing.

'Um...yeah. I really am sorry. We were going to go into my room, I promise.'

_I can't believe this. How embarrassing. What are you playing at Sidle? Getting caught making out on the couch like a pair of teenagers. You're never going to live this down!_

'Sara it's fine. Just um, hang a sock on the door handle or something next time huh?'

With a playful shove Morgan escaped into her room, leaving the two women alone again. Without a word, Sara dragged a still giggling Catherine into her room and shoved her playfully onto the bed.

'What exactly is funny about this situation may I ask?'

This only caused Catherine to continue laughing.

'Oh come on Sar, you have to admit it's a little funny.'

Sara tried to keep up her glare but it only lasted a few seconds before she let a grin appear on her face and fell onto the bed beside the redhead.

'I blame you, for being so irresistible.'

This caused Catherine to smile and she tenderly caressed Sara's cheek before leaning in for a quick kiss.

'Now, where were we?'

Before Sara could respond she found herself being straddled by Catherine, lust filled blue eyes gazing down at her.

'Cath, we can't. What if Morgan hears?'

Catherine seemed to ignore her please, removing her own top before fiddling with the hem of the brunette's. Her movements were still by soft hands covering her own.

'Catherine, stop. I want our first time to be special. Not some quickie while my friend's in the next room.'

Sara pulled Catherine's head down to hers to whisper her next sentence, soft blonde locks tickling her face.

'When I make you scream I want to be the only person hearing it.'

She felt Catherine gulp, they were pressed so tightly together, and the blonde woman nodded slightly before rolling off her.

'You, Sara Sidle, are worth waiting for.'


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry it's short, but I wanted to end this one at this particular point. Hope you enjoy it anyway.**

* * *

They had been lying on Sara's bed in a comfortable silence when the call came in. Sara's phone rang first and she groaned as she stopped tracing patterns on Catherine's stomach and leaned over her companion to retrieve the noisy item.

'What?'

_This had better be good. I could lie in Catherine's arms all night._

As she listened to Greg on the other end of the phone, she heard Catherine's phone begin to ring, and then a few seconds later the muffled sound of Morgan's phone could also be heard through the walls.

'Alright, I'll be there as soon as possible.'

The brunette waited for Catherine to finish her call before grabbing the older woman by the waist and pulling her down on top of her.

'Duty calls, huh?'

Sara nodded, a little pleased to hear a hint of disappointment in Catherine's voice at their interruption.

'Another victim in our case. We should get going.'

With one final peck on the lips the two women gathered their things and met Morgan in the hall. Together they ventured out into the warm Vegas night, all three slightly apprehensive at what they might find at their new crime scene.

* * *

Blood. There was blood everywhere. Sara had never seen anything like it. And in all her years of working as a CSI, that was saying something. Ignoring Brass' background on the victim, she scanned her eyes around the room to look for similarities to the other victims. There were plenty. Beside her, she felt Catherine touch her elbow softly and give her a reassuring smile. Together they moved to the bathroom of the motel room where David awaited them with the body. They had sent Morgan out to sweep the perimeter, and upon entering the tiny bathroom they were glad of the fact there was one less person to see the destruction left behind.

_She's...oh God. No. I can't do this. Too many memories._

The sight of the body made Sara want to vomit, but at the same time she couldn't bring herself to tear her eyes away from it. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she could hear David reeling off the extensive list of injuries that the murderer had inflicted on his victim, but she didn't need to pay attention to know what those injuries were, it was written all over her damaged skin, and she was all too familiar with them herself. When her mind registered the words 'sexual trauma' she tensed involuntarily and she could see Catherine out of the corner of her eye glancing in her direction with a concerned look on her face. It was too much for her. She stood from her crouching position beside the body and made her way quickly towards the motel room door.

'Sara, wait. I'm sorry but you need to see this.'

She had intended to ignore David and retreat to the parking lot for some much needed fresh air, but there was something in his voice that made her turn back around to see what it was that had him sounding so...scared. Trying in vain to still her trembling hands, she slowly turned on the spot. First her eyes found Catherine, who was staring back at her looking extremely concerned.

_I wish we were alone right now. What I wouldn't give to have her arms wrapped around me._

When she did finally look at David, she could see the fear on his face that she had detected in his voice. Not yet daring to look down at the body, she swallowed and braced herself for what it was she was about to see. Nodding slightly, she forced herself to look at the victim as David rolled her onto her side, exposing her previously hidden front. The last thing she saw before everything went black was a collection of horrific cuts covering the victim's chest and stomach, spelling out the words 'Daddy's Little Girl'.

* * *

When Sara opened her eyes she was in a strange place, and she began to panic until she heard a calming, familiar voice close to her left ear.

'Sshhh baby, it's OK. You're alright. Calm down.'

A soft hand pressed down lightly on her stomach to stop her from struggling and she stilled her movements, enjoying the feel of Catherine's skin on her own. The hand snaked up underneath her shirt and CSI vest, tracing patterns on her abdomen. The action seemed to work, and the brunette managed to calm her breathing down to a normal level. It was then that she took a closer look around and realised she was in a motel room similar to the one she had been in before she passed out.

'The girl...'

Sara tried to leap off the bed, intent on getting back to the body.

_I have to help that girl. I have to. She...she reminds me of me._

'Sara, wait. Stay still. David's taken her back to the lab so Doc Robbins can do the autopsy. Just take your time alright? You hit your head pretty bad when you fell.'

It was only when Catherine traced a spot on her forehead that caused her to flinch in pain that she remembered passing out. Immediately she tensed, knowing exactly what Catherine was going to say next.

_She's going to expect me to tell her. I can't tell her. I can't._

'Sara honey, I know there's a lot about your past that I don't know. And I know there's a reason you react badly to cases like this. I'm not going to force you to tell me, but I hope you know that I'm here for you, OK?'

_I love this woman. More than I could ever imagine._

Catherine's voice cracked with emotion and Sara couldn't help but feel guilty at not being honest with the other woman. Taking her hands in her own, she caressed the soft skin lightly as she spoke.

'Not even Grissom knows the entire truth about my childhood. I could never bring myself to tell him. I've tried to keep it hidden deep down but...I guess what I'm trying to say is, I feel like one day...maybe I will be able to tell you. If you're willing to wait that is.'

She closed her eyes as the first tear rolled down her cheek, not wanting to appear so weak before the woman she loved. When Catherine pulled her tightly into her arms, peppering her face with light kisses, she finally began to relax.

'I told you already Sara, you are worth waiting for.'


	9. Chapter 9

'You don't have to do this you know.'

The sound of Catherine's voice so close to Sara's ear sent shivers down her spine and she leaned her body into the older woman's slightly.

'I need to. Thank you. For being there for me.'

Catherine flashed her a wide smile and she couldn't help but return it.

'It's what I'm here for babe.'

Holding the motel door open, Sara took a deep breath and stepped back into the room. The smell of blood assaulted her senses once again, and she tried in vain to ignore it whilst scanning the room for evidence. David had long since left with the body, a fact which Sara was extremely glad of as she wandered into the bathroom. There was still a large blood pool on the floor and she opened up her kit to collect some of it.

'I found hairs on the bed. Different colour to the vic. Could be our unknown male.'

Sara flinched when Catherine's hand touched her shoulder. She had been so intrigued by a particular spot of blood that she hadn't noticed the older woman coming into the room.

'The directionality of this blood suggests it belongs to the perp. The drops are leading away from the main blood pool. Our vic fought back.'

_That means the bastard could be hurt. Good._

Closing her eyes briefly, the younger woman began to run the case in her head, trying to figure out what had happened. Her eyes shot back open when something occurred to her. Standing up quickly, she turned and ran straight into Catherine, who was still stood directly behind her. Cath's hands found their way to Sara's hips to steady the younger woman and they stood in silence for a few minutes getting lost in each other's gaze.

'Going somewhere in a hurry?'

The spell was broken when Catherine spoke and it brought Sara out of her daze, reminding her why she was in such a hurry.

'We need to test the vic's DNA against our unknown male.'

_I hope I'm not right. But something tells me that I am._

At Catherine's confused look, the brunette continued talking at a mile a minute.

'Daddy's Little Girl? Maybe the vic was _his_ little girl. We need to test the DNA Cath. We need to find out if our suspect is this girl's father. We need to...'

Catherine glanced quickly around the room, ensuring the two of them were alone before silencing Sara with a brief but passionate kiss. She pulled away and rested their foreheads together, caressing Sara's shoulders in the process.

'Slow down babe. We'll compare the DNA. Just slow down and take it one step at a time. We'll get him I promise.'

* * *

Sara paced the DNA lab impatiently. Catherine was working the machine and glancing at the brunette at regular intervals. Eventually, she sighed and slid backwards on her chair.

'Sar, you're going to wear a whole in the floor and you're making me dizzy.'

Sara stopped pacing and waved her hands in the air before continuing her previous circuit around the lab, causing Catherine to smile at her nervousness.

'I'm sorry, it's just, I've got a bad feeling about this.'

Catherine abruptly left the lab without a word before returning a moment later with a cup of steaming coffee and a candy bar. Taking the brunette by the shoulders, she guided her onto a nearby chair and placed the food and drink before her.

'Sit. Eat. Drink. Be still. And maybe I'll let you make out with me at your apartment tonight.'

This caused the young brunette to blush and she nodded shyly before tearing open the candy bar.

_I can't believe I've been missing out on this for so long. Why didn't I realise sooner?_

Catherine was working on another piece of evidence when the beeping from the DNA machine signalled it was finished. Sara was at the printer in a flash, looking nervously at the redhead as the single piece of paper slowly came out. Grabbing it the second it was done, dark brown eyes scanned over the page. Catherine didn't need to see the results to know what they said. The sadness in Sara's eyes confirmed all she needed to know. Their serial killer's latest victim was his own daughter.

* * *

She had been hiding in the locker room for the last 15 minutes. Granted, it wasn't the best hiding place. She knew that as soon as Catherine realised she was gone, it would be the first place the older woman would look for her, but she had only wanted a few minutes to herself to compose herself anyway.

_Who am I kidding? I couldn't stay away from her even if I wanted to. I love her._

The door to the locker room opened and closed and Sara rose from her place on the floor, quickly wiping her tears away. Expecting Catherine to come walking round the corner, she was surprised to find Morgan standing before her, an amused look on her face.

'I thought I'd find you hiding in here Sidle. Everything alright?'

Sara swung round, pretending to look for something in her locker while she composed herself.

'Uh, yeah. Everything's fine. Why do you ask?'

_Damn you voice for betraying me. Why did I have to choose that moment to sound like a chipmunk?_

'Sara...it's a tough case. You know where I am if you need to talk.'

Morgan touched Sara's arm affectionately before sitting on the bench behind her.

'Unless of course, you're _talking_ all you need to with Catherine.'

Sara closed her locker and turned to face Morgan, a grin plastered on her face.

'Morgan I...don't kiss and tell.'

Morgan looked thoroughly disappointed at that and took her chance to shout after Sara's retreating form.

'That's OK, I've seen _way_ more than I needed to anyway!'

* * *

Sara watched Catherine from the safety of her kitchen doorway, enjoying the fact that the older woman had no idea she was being observed. The redhead was making a cup of coffee, and was quietly humming to herself at the same time. It was quite possibly the most adorable thing Sara had ever seen. She decided it was time to announce her presence and snuck up on the other woman, embracing her from behind.

'Hey there good lookin'.'

Catherine returned the embrace before wriggling out of it to finish making her beverage. Sara was shocked however when the steaming cup of coffee was placed into her own hands.

'I figured you could use it.'

The young brunette was treated to another of Catherine's beautiful smiles and she felt a surge of love go through her at the thoughtfulness of the other woman.

_I have to tell her about my past. She deserves to know. Baby steps though. I'll tell her one thing at a time._

Taking Catherine's hands in her own she guided her over to the couch in the living room and sat nervously beside her. It took her a few minutes of attempting to calm herself and fiddling with the hem of her shirt before she finally found the courage to say what she wanted to. She trained her eyes on the coffee table before her, unable to meet Cath's eyes as she spoke.

'My father. He uh...when he would, abuse me, he um...'

_Wow, this is harder than I thought._

Catherine's soft hand on her knee urged her to continue.

'He would...call me Daddy's little girl too. Just like our victim.'

Catherine pulled Sara into a strong hug and kissed her tenderly on the cheek.

'Oh baby. I am so sorry. I love you.'

The words tumbled out of her mouth before she even had time to realise she had uttered them, and Sara stiffened when she heard them. Looking up into the redhead's eyes, she saw only love and trust.

'I love you too Catherine.'


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Another chapter for you guys. Reviews (or lack of) recently have been disappointing. I'd appreciate hearing your thoughts, even if you didn't like it. If I don't think anybody is enjoying this anymore then I won't continue to upload it. Anyway...we're getting to the juicy part of the story now.**

* * *

'Our serial killer has a name. James Norton.'

The night shift crew sat in the break room in silence as Catherine continued with the briefing.

'Our latest vic's mother identified him as the father of her daughter. A one night stand 23 years ago. She knows nothing except that his last known address is in San Diego, current whereabouts unknown. If we're to find this bastard, we need to act quickly and decisively. Nicky, I want you and Greg to go back over all the old evidence, see if we missed anything. DB and Morgan have gone to California to liaise with the San Diego crime lab in searching Norton's last known. Sara, that leaves you with me. We're going to look for anything that links our victims.'

As the rest of the team filed out, Sara stayed seated on the couch, staring intently at the break room carpet. She felt Catherine sit beside her and place a tentative hand on her knee.

'Hey. I tried calling you when I got done last night but there was no answer. I'm sorry I had to leave like that after...what you told me. My boss is a real hard ass.'

_She left. They all leave once they know the truth._

'It's fine.'

Catherine sighed and removed her hand from Sara's knee. The brunette's breathe caught in her throat when she looked up to find Catherine's deep blue orbs staring at her intently.

'Babe, I swear to you. Me leaving had _nothing_ to do with what we were talking about. I don't think any less of you because of what you told me. You're the strongest person I know, and I hope one day you'll trust me enough to tell me the rest.'

_Just how does she do that? One look at me and she knows exactly what I'm thinking._

'It's fine Cath, honestly.'

Sara cursed herself for allowing her emotion to come through in her voice.

'No Sara, it's not. I feel terrible. Please, can we talk again tonight? I'll turn my phone off I promise.'

A cheeky smile from Catherine and a kiss on the cheek was all it took for Sara to return the smile and nod in agreement.

_You really got it bad Sidle. You can't even stay mad at her for longer than five minutes._

* * *

'So, you really think the victims are related somehow huh?'

Sara saw Catherine sigh and drop the evidence she had been inspecting onto the table. The truth was, she trusted the redhead's instincts. If Catherine felt the victims could be related then she was more than willing to go along with that theory, but they had been looking for over 3 hours now and had yet to come up with anything.

'I really don't know anymore Sara. But why kill those other girls if he was going after his daughter? Is he going to kill again or is this it?'

Both women stared at the table before them, both hoping something would jump out at them, something obvious that they had been missing. Sara sighed dramatically, rubbing her tired eyes.

'Alright. The first three victims, all exotic dancers in California, Arizona and Utah. But victim number four, Charlotte Hirst, was an insurance broker from Henderson. And lastly victim number five, Sarah Watson, a bank teller also from Henderson. What are we missing here?'

Catherine stared at her, an equally lost expression on her face. When the older woman shrugged her shoulders Sara grabbed her by the belt loops in her trousers and tugged her forwards.

'Sara...we're working. And not very successfully I might add.'

Sara had just placed her lips on Catherine's collar bone when the sound of ringing halted her actions.

_Are we always going to get interrupted? Dammit!_

It took the brunette a moment to realise that it was her own phone ringing and she pulled away from Catherine with a sheepish grin before answering the offending article. It only took a moment for her eyes to widen before she thanked whoever was on the line and hung up without saying another word.

'We have our connection. That was Brass. He was interviewing Charlotte Hirst's boyfriend and he let slip that she was working as an exotic dancer for the last three months alongside her day job. That _has _to be our link. We need to turn Sarah Watson's life upside down to find out if she danced.'

Catherine nodded and immediately began to put away the evidence they had logged out. When she noticed Sara hadn't moved an inch, she stopped what she was doing and approached the younger woman.

'There's something else Cath. The first three victims all had the last name Porter. As you told me, at the time the FBI thought this was a coincidence right?'

At Catherine's confused nod, Sara continued.

'Well, Brass also did some digging into Charlotte Hirst and Sarah Watson. They were both born and christened in the name Porter. He was looking for her Cath. He was looking for his daughter. And he found her.'

* * *

'So I showed Sarah Watson's photo at the club where Charlotte Hirst danced. The owner confirmed she's also been dancing there for the last 6 months. He said she swore him to secrecy. She didn't want anybody in her life knowing she was doing it.'

Sara smiled ruefully at Catherine and handed her a cup of coffee.

_I hate it when I'm right._

'So what now?'

Catherine seated herself beside Sara on the break room couch, leaning ever so slightly into the younger woman and taking a long gulp of the strong coffee.

'We find Norton. Hopefully he can tell us why he's doing this.'

Sara reached for her own cup of coffee before resting her head on Catherine's shoulder.

'Mmmm. Hey, I saw you on TV earlier. You looked hot.'

The brunette nudged the other woman's knee playfully with her own, eliciting a blush and a giggle from her.

'I had to give the press something. They were following us to every scene. Oh that reminds me.'

Catherine placed her coffee down and extricated herself from Sara's arm that had somehow unknowingly found itself across her waist.

'I left your kit in my car. I'll go fetch it, it needs refilling.'

Sara nodded and watched as the object of her affections left the room, a slight sway in her hips that the brunette was sure had been added for her benefit. Sipping her coffee, she couldn't help but allow her thoughts to wander back to the redhead.

_What's going to happen after this case is over? She'll go back to DC, and I'll be here. Will she want to go back to being friends? No, I don't think I could go back to being just friends after knowing what it's like to kiss her._

The sight of Nick entering the break room brought Sara back to earth and she smiled at the Texan as he helped himself to some coffee.

'Where's Catherine? I thought I saw her come in here a minute ago.'

This caused Sara to frown, and she looked at her watch curiously.

'She went to get my kit out of her car, but she should be back by now. I'll go see what's taking her so long.'

Placing her mug on the side, Sara made her way out to the crime lab car park, a bad feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. Catherine's car was in the far corner and as the young CSI came closer to it, it became glaringly obvious that Catherine was nowhere to be found. In fact, the only sign that anybody had been anywhere near the vehicle recently was the small pool of blood at the rear of the car.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Previously I had only written this fic from Sara's POV, but I felt the need for something from Catherine in this and future chapters. I'll make it clear who is who whenever the POV switches. Hope you like.**

* * *

Sara POV

She was panicking. She knew she was, yet there was nothing she could do to stop herself.

_Catherine's gone. She's gone. No, wait. There must be a rational explanation for this. Maybe she cut herself and went to the bathroom to clean up._

With shaking hands, Sara pulled her cell phone from her pocket and dialled Cath's number without even thinking. Her body was on autopilot whilst her mind was running at a mile a minute, thinking of all the possible scenarios that could have occurred to end up with a pool of blood on the floor next to Catherine's car.

'Dammit!'

When Cath failed to answer, Sara's phone found itself clattering to the floor in a display of anger. Realising she had already wasted 10 minutes simply staring at the blood on the tarmac, the brunette forced herself to switch to CSI mode and grabbed her kit out of the car beside her. The car was already unlocked, and she folded the sleeve of her shirt over her hand to use the handle, should there be any usable prints. The inside of the car didn't look like it had been touched, but she couldn't be sure at this stage.

_It's him. It's got to be. He's taken her. Oh God. I have to get her back._

It took her three attempts before she could steady herself enough to get a clean swab of the blood on the floor. Clutching the evidence tightly to her chest she ran as fast as she could back into the lab, not even bothering to tidy away her kit or close the back door of Catherine's vehicle.

* * *

'Greg. Get these tested against Catherine's DNA exemplar now.'

Sara was out of breath as she collapsed against the table in the DNA lab, practically throwing the sample at Greg. He held it gingerly in his hand, an enquiring look on his face.

'Sara, what's...'

'Just do it Greg!'

The tears in her eyes and her shaking body was enough to convince him and he set to work without another word. Knowing it would take a while before the results came back, Sara found some peace and quiet in DB's office and tried Catherine's cell phone again. The sound that greeted her made her blood run cold.

'You've reached the voicemail of Catherine Willows. I'm afraid she's...indisposed at the moment but if you leave your name and number she _might_ get back to you soon.'

For the second time in less than an hour Sara's phone clattered to the floor. Tears began streaming down her face as she sank down beside it. She had never heard James Norton's voice before, but she knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was him.

_The love of my life has been taken by a serial killer and rapist. What am I going to do?_

In the back of her mind Sara was aware of Nick's voice in the corridor outside and it seemed to spur her into action. She was going to need the help of the entire team if she was to get Catherine back and it was about time she filled them in on what had happened.

'Nick...something's happened. Can you gather the team and meet me in the break room in 5?'

Nick knew better than to question Sara when she was so obviously distressed, so he simply nodded and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder before moving away. Sara moved on shaky legs back to the DNA lab where Greg was holding a single piece of paper in his hands, an expression of great worry on his face.

'Sara, this is Catherine's blood. _Catherine's_ blood. Where did you find it?'

Releasing a shaky breath, Sara took the sheet from Greg, needing to see it with her own eyes.

'Come with me.'

Not even checking to see if the young CSI was following her, Sara made her way into the break room where Nick was waiting with Hodges and Mandy. The Texan man looked up when he noticed the brunette's presence.

'I just got off the phone with DB. He and Morgan are on their way back and should land in Vegas in a couple hours. Apparently they didn't find anything of value. What's going on Sara?'

Taking a deep steadying breath, Sara leaned on the back of the couch for support.

'It's Catherine. She's...been taken. I believe by James Norton.'

* * *

Catherine POV

Catherine felt immense pain. At first she thought she wasn't able to open her eyes but on closer consideration she realised that it was simply pitch black wherever she was. Trying her arms and legs, she wasn't surprised to find herself restrained. In order to attempt to keep calm she tried to piece together what had happened to her by recalling the last thing she remembered.

_Running DNA. Sitting with Sara in the break room. Going out to my car...what happened after that?_

Screwing her eyes shut in a vain attempt at ignoring her splitting headache, she forced herself to remember more. There were flashes of a person clothed all in black, a strange smell, and the sight of the underneath of her car, but nothing else came to mind. From the fractured images she had been able to conjure, she gathered she had been attacked by an unknown assailant and possibly subdued with chloroform.

_It's alright. Sara knew I was going out to my car. She'll notice I'm gone. And the cameras in the lot will show who's taken me. _

A rustling sound off to her left caused Catherine to freeze in terror. She had assumed that wherever she was, she was alone but that no longer seemed to be the case. Although she was known to her friends and colleagues as a tough woman, there was something about the dark that had always unnerved the redhead, and the fact that she was currently restrained didn't help either. A small flash of light that she recognised straight away as a lighter appeared a few feet away from her and soon a candle had been lit, illuminating the face of James Norton.

_Oh God. Now I'm screwed._

'What do you want with me? I'm a federal officer. You need to let me go right now.'

She had tried to sound confident and demanding, but in the relative darkness of her captivity, her voice sounded small and weak. A laugh from Norton confirmed that he hadn't fallen for her act either.

'Now now Miss Willows, I don't think you're in any position to make demands.'

A shuffling sound indicated that Norton had moved into a standing position, and Catherine tried to gain any clues to her possible location from the flickering candle in his hand. It was no use however, there simply was not enough light.

'Why are we sitting here in darkness?'

The flicker of light stopped moving as Norton turned back to face her.

'The darkness calms me. And the sound of your breathing helps me think.'

The thought of this man having sat beside her for possibly hours as she lay unconscious sickened Catherine, and she took a mental inventory of herself for injuries. Thankfully, she didn't think there were any others apart from the throbbing in her forehead.

'I think it's time to shed some illumination on us now though, so that we may talk properly.'

Suddenly the room was bathed in a bright glow as the lights were turned on and Catherine had to blink her eyes against the sudden brightness. Once her eyes had adjusted she immediately began taking in every detail of the room she was in. It looked like some sort of warehouse, and there were tools of all kinds littering various desks around the edge of the room. What made her nervous was the bed in the corner of the room and the multiple blood stains that surrounded it. She was now able to get a good look at Norton too, and what she saw scared her. He looked like a truly unhinged man as he stalked towards her. His hair was unkempt, his clothes dirty and his visible skin stained with what looked like blood.

'Miss Willows, I want to talk to you about your past career as a dancer.'

There was a vicious sneer on Norton's face as he spoke, and suddenly Catherine realised she was in a lot of trouble. There was only one thought that went through her mind as Norton reached out to grab her.

_Sara._


	12. Chapter 12

**Catherine POV**

_Pain. Oh God, the pain. I'm never going to get out of here alive. Somebody's going to have to tell Lindsey. And Sara. Oh, Sara._

Trying to move as little as possible so as not to aggravate her injuries, Catherine opened her eyes. The room where Norton was keeping her swam into view, and she blinked against the bright lights that he had thankfully left on before leaving the room. The last thing the redhead remembered was a particularly vicious punch to the face that had knocked her out cold. Judging by the pain in her ribs, Norton hadn't stopped at a single punch either.

_Alright Catherine, stay calm. Check yourself for injuries then look for a way out._

Forcing her breathing back down to a normal level, Catherine sat up slowly, discovering in the process that her hands and feet were no longer bound. She was, however, chained to the bed she was sitting on by her left wrist. There was enough slack in the chain for her to move around on the bed, but she could not reach any of the other items in the room. With a loud groan, she lifted her top to inspect the damage to her ribs. It looked bad, and she guessed at least two were broken.

'Fits with his other victims. He beat them before he killed them too.'

She mumbled out loud, simply to break the silence that was stifling the room. Hearing her own voice seemed to spur her on, and she checked the rest of herself for injuries, thankfully finding none.

_All of his other victims were raped before he killed them. I have to get out of here soon._

Testing the chain, she wasn't surprised to find it held fast so she let her eyes wander around the room for anything that could help her should she be able to reach it. There were plenty of tools that she could use as a weapon to defend herself, and her eyes roamed longingly over a pair of bolt cutters at the far side of the room. The far wall was covered from floor to ceiling in pieces of paper, and to begin with Catherine thought they were simply blue prints for various items. On closer inspection, she realised with horror that they were all documents relating to the victims they had linked to Norton. Catherine stared in horror at the three newest documents that were pinned haphazardly over the top of older items.

_How did I not notice that before?_

There, in plain view, was hers and Sara's personnel files along with a picture of the two of them kissing outside Sara's apartment.

* * *

**Sara POV**

'This isn't working!'

Sara took her frustration out on the chair, kicking it across the room. It was on its way out of the IT lab and into the corridor when its progress was halted by Morgan, who had chosen that very moment to check up on the brunette.

'Hey, what did that chair ever do to you?'

On seeing Sara's despairing gaze, Morgan quickly realised now was not the time for humour and crossed the room in two large strides, gathering the older woman up in her arms. It was the final straw for Sara, and she allowed the blonde to take her weight as the tears began to fall.

'What's he doing to her Morgan? I have to find her. I have to.'

Archie sat awkwardly before his keyboard, not wanting to eavesdrop on the conversation, but also not wanting to alert the two women to his presence by moving. His decision was made for him when the software he had been running beeped loudly to announce it had found something.

'Got it. Look at this.'

Sara sniffed and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt, sending Morgan an appreciative look in the process. Both women turned their attention to the young man and waited for his explanation.

'Well as you know, we couldn't track Norton's vehicle from the lab car park because he moved the CCTV cameras. But I managed to get his licence plate before he moved them and I've been running it through the recog software for all cameras in the Vegas area. I got a hit from the Henderson area for 5 minutes ago. He's in an abandoned warehouse.'

Archie looked deservedly pleased with himself as he revealed the information and Morgan clapped him on the back. They both turned to Sara to see her reaction but she was already half way out the door, shouting behind her as she went.

'Send the address to my phone Archie.'

Barely a second later Morgan was chasing her down the corridor.

'Sara, wait! You can't go there on your own. Let's get back up.'

She grabbed the brunette by the elbow and spun her round to halt her progress.

'Come on Sar, if you want a conviction you know we have to do this right.'

The look in Sara's eyes told Morgan she wasn't particularly bothered about a conviction right now, more her own method of justice. And the young blonde wasn't about to let her friend go off the deep end like that.

'Think of the other victim's families Sara, they need closure too.'

This seemed to work, and Sara's eyes softened slightly.

'If he's hurt her in any way...'

Morgan nodded quickly, both women aware of the implications behind the brunette's words.

'I'll load the gun for you myself.'

* * *

'OK, so I've posted uniforms at each corner around the warehouse where the suspect is located. He isn't going anywhere before we get there.'

Sara nodded her thanks at Brass and jumped into her car, speeding off before the detective could even open his driver's side door. She drove quickly but carefully through the Vegas streets in silence, ignoring the worried looks Morgan was shooting her every few minutes.

_She has to be OK. Please let her be OK._

In a lot less time than it should have taken, the two CSI's arrived at the scene, with Brass and DB hot on their tails. The group crowded around a blue print one of the uniformed officers had acquired and listened intently as he described the interior layout of the building to them. Brass was going over their plan for entering when Sara's cell phone began to ring. She answered it without even thinking and froze when a familiar voice came over the line.

'I see you've found my hiding place Miss Sidle. May I suggest you turn your attention to the north facing window? I'll see you there.'

With shaking hands Sara holstered her phone, relaying the information to Brass and the others. Grabbing a shotgun from the passenger seat of his car, Brass motioned for them to follow him and as a group they rushed around the side of the building to the place Norton had suggested. What they saw there made them all stop still.

'As you can see Miss Sidle, you and your friends will not be coming in here any time soon, unless you want pieces of your _girlfriend_ here to be sprayed all over the lawn.'

Norton fingered the red button on the detonator he held on his hand gently as he grinned evilly at Sara. She felt her blood run cold when she followed the wire down to a small package that was wrapped around Catherine's stomach. She quickly ran her eyes over the redhead, searching for any outwards signs of injury. There was a large bruise on her cheek and she appeared to be wincing at the hand Norton had wrapped tightly around her chest, suggesting she had damaged ribs also.

_I'll kill him. I will kill that bastard for what he's done to her._

She felt the other's querying eyes on her at Norton's use of the word girlfriend too, but ignored them for now, keeping her own eyes trained on Catherine. She could see the fear in the blue orbs staring back at her, and it was killing her to not be able to do anything to help the other woman.

'Let her go Norton. Take me instead.'

The brunette could feel Brass and Morgan both tense behind her at her suggestion, two hands finding their way to her CSI vest and pulling back on it gently. She felt Brass lean in close to her.

'Don't do this Sara. There's another way.'

Norton laughed, and pulled Catherine even tighter against him, causing her to cry out in pain.

'That's a nice sentiment, really Miss Sidle. But I'm afraid I need you both for my little game. So why don't you give your gun and radio to Mr Brass there and come inside with us.'

Sara could feel her nails digging painfully into the skin on the palms of her hands as she used all of her willpower not to lunge at the maniac before her. Moving slowly and deliberately so as not to spook the man, she unclipped her gun and radio and handed them to the detective behind her. She daren't make eye contact with him or any of her colleagues as she began to step slowly towards the building. Morgan tried to grab her once more to prevent her from going but she twisted out of her grip, and without another glance back, she stepped through the open door waiting for her.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Two updates in one day, I am spoiling you guys!**

* * *

**Sara POV**

'Why are you doing this James?'

Norton motioned with the detonator, which was still clutched tightly in his hand, for Sara to move on down a darkened hallway to her left. She didn't move though, instead waiting for an answer and checking Catherine over at the same time now she was within touching distance of the woman.

_I'm not going to let this bastard win here. I'll die before I let him hurt Catherine again._

With a squeeze of his other hand, Norton managed to elicit another cry of pain from Catherine as he grew impatient over Sara's lack of movement.

'Down there. Now. Unless you want your bitch to die right here.'

Sara clenched her fists and ground her teeth to prevent herself from biting back with an insult of her own in response to Norton's disrespect for Catherine. Instead she wordlessly began making her way down the dimly lit corridor, hearing rather than seeing Norton following behind with Catherine. She didn't have to walk far before they came to a large metal door at the end, and she turned and waited for the others to catch her up. They had fallen behind a little due to Norton having to practically drag Catherine. When he stopped and pushed her against the far wall, Sara moved to intercept them.

'Don't you even think about it Miss Sidle.'

Raising the detonator aloft, Norton held his thumb over the button, causing Sara to freeze where she stood. She could only watch helplessly as Norton grabbed Catherine around the throat with his other hand and leaned in close to her face.

'Stop struggling you filthy whore. Does it really look like you're in any position to escape here?'

Sara could see the tears of pain and fear in Catherine's eyes and it killed her to not be able to do anything to prevent it. Instead, she settled for trying to calm the older woman with her voice, hoping it wouldn't make Norton any angrier.

'Cath, babe, do as he says.'

Blue eyes immediately found Sara's brown ones and she tried to show as much love and affection as she could in order to calm the older woman.

_I love this woman so much. We ARE going to get out of this. _

Their moment was interrupted by Norton pulling Catherine away from the wall and towards the large door before opening it and shoving both women through.

'What a touching moment, but if you don't mind I'd like to get on with things. Why don't you two ladies sit down on the bed over there.'

As if to emphasise his point, Norton waved the detonator in the air and pointed to the bed in the corner of the room. Sara caught Catherine's eye and nodded as if to go along with the maniac's plan for now. With a hand lightly on the redhead's elbow, they slowly made their way over.

'Are you alright?'

She spoke lowly so as not to attract Norton's attention and glanced at Catherine out of the corner of her eye.

'You shouldn't have come in here Sara, I don't want you getting hurt.'

The two women shared a knowing look before perching nervously on the edge of the bed. Catherine fidgeted painfully and tried to shift the explosive device that was still attached to her stomach. Sara caught her hand just in time, shaking her head warningly.

'Don't touch it babe.'

Norton approached them, a leering grin on his face.

'Yes, don't touch it_ babe_.'

Using his free hand he stroked the edge of Catherine's cheek over her large purple bruise. Sara had to fight every urge within her not to react, but she felt sick at the thought of this mad man touching her Catherine.

_My Catherine? Can I call her that? If we ever get out of here I'll have to ask her._

'Tie her hands and feet.'

Norton threw a handful of cable ties at Sara but she made no attempt to catch them and they hit her knees before falling to the floor.

'I'm not doing anything until you tell me why you're doing this to us.'

Norton raised one eyebrow and glanced between the bomb attached to Catherine and his detonator.

'I don't think you're in any position to call the shots here lady.'

Mustering up as much courage as she could, Sara raised her chin defiantly.

_The only way we're getting out of here in one piece is if we stand up to this bastard._

'You beat, raped and murdered your other victims. If that's going to be our fate, then I'd rather get blown to pieces. So tell me why you're doing this to us, or press that damn button.'

The silence that fell over the room was deafening as Norton digested Sara's words. The brunette could feel Catherine shaking beside her and a glance in her direction told her that the redhead's eyes were trained on the detonator in Norton's hand. Finally, the man laughed and Sara released the breath she had been holding.

'You've got balls I'll give you that. Alright, you want to do the whole 'villain confesses' thing? I'll go for that.'

Crossing the room in a few long strides, Norton retrieved a chair and placed it backwards before the two women, straddling it. He balanced the detonator on the back rest, making sure it was still in view of his captives.

'I didn't even know that I had a daughter until a friend of mine saw her in a strip club. She looked just like me, don't you think? Well he did. He told me all about her. And well, it's amazing what you can learn on the internet. But I only had her surname, and by the time I got to the strip club she had gone. So I figured, why not just find all the girls with the right surname? Crazy right? But I wasn't going to have any daughter of mine working as a whore. Oh no. So when I found the first girl and it wasn't her, well, I did the world a favour by getting rid of her anyway right? I mean surely you understand Miss Sidle? I know you won't Miss Willows, because you're one of them.'

He sneered in Catherine's direction and Sara again felt the need to protect her love from this crazy man.

_He really is out of his mind. We're going to have to hurt him to get away._

An idea popped into the brunette's mind and she tried to catch Catherine's eye to hint at her to play along. Unfortunately, the redhead was staring steadfastly at the ground in order to avoid Norton's leering.

_Well here goes nothing. Please forgive me baby._

'James, you're right. I think it's disgusting what those girls do. Catherine...she hid it from me. I never knew she was such a..._whore._'

Sara heard a sharp intake of breath from Catherine and tried to meet the redhead's eyes. She forced herself to adopt what she hoped was a disgusted look, hating the look of hurt she found in the older woman's eyes.

_Come on Cath, think about it. You know I already knew about your past. You know I don't mean this. I love you._

It seemed like the trauma of Catherine's ordeal so far had affected her rational thought however, and she looked away from Sara as a solitary tear rolled down her cheek.

_ ._

The sound of Norton laughing drew both of their attention and he rose from his chair.

'You know, I would have believed you had you not been carrying that puppy dog look the entire time we've been in here. You _love _her and there's no hiding that. But then, that's what I was hoping for. You see, Catherine here is a filthy whore, and who better to teach her the error of her ways than her equally filthy lover?'

* * *

'No way, No _fucking _way. I won't do it.'

Sara had had a bad feeling as soon as Norton produced a knife from his inside jacket pocket. And once he started talking, things had gone from bad to worse.

'Oh you'll do it. Or I'll blow you both to hell.'

He held the knife out for Sara to take but she refused to even touch the weapon.

'Take it! Take it now.'

Sara weighed up her options. If she did as he asked, there was no way she could ever live with herself. But if she didn't, Catherine and herself would die. But then, being blown up was definitely preferable to the alternative. She wasn't convinced this maniac would ever let them go anyway. Eyeing the knife, she tried to decide if she was quick enough to grab it and stab Norton, but the man still held the detonator in his hand and she didn't want to risk setting it off unless she absolutely had to.

Taking her silence as a refusal, Norton moved to Catherine and pulled her roughly to her feet. For a minute the brunette thought he was going to detonate the explosive and she closed her eyes in fear.

_This is it. This is the end. _

When no explosion came, she opened her eyes to find Norton removing the device from the redhead. He shoved Catherine back down onto the bed beside Sara and produced a gun from the waistband of his jeans. Pressing the barrel roughly against her forehead, he pressed the knife into Sara's hand. The brunette was too shocked to resist and looked at it lying menacingly in her palms.

'Cut her. Cut her now or I blow your brains out while she watches. Then I give her the same treatment as the others. She's a whore, she deserves it anyway.'

Sara felt Catherine's hands on her own, forcing her fingers closed around the weapon. Looking up into scared blue eyes, she couldn't help but let the tears fall freely.

'Do it Sara. It's OK. I won't let you die because of me.'

Sara shook her head vehemently, resisting when Catherine forced the knife in her hands onto her chest. The top of the blade pressed so deeply into her skin that a droplet of blood appeared, making its way down the redhead's cleavage.

'Come on. She wants you to. Filthy whore will probably enjoy it. Do it or you die.'

Norton had leaned in so close that Sara could feel his breath on her cheek. It repulsed her. The sound of him cocking the gun caused her to cry out in anguish and she forced herself to look at Catherine, who was also crying freely.

'I'll let you both go if you do it. I promise.'

This caused Sara to pause. Normally she wouldn't trust a serial killer, but at the moment she didn't have another choice.

'Really?'

He nodded and smiled, showing off a set of discoloured teeth in the process.

_The first chance I get, I am going to kill this man._

Returning her focus to Catherine, Sara tried to stop her hand holding the knife from shaking. The older woman's hands still encased her own, pushing down insistently and slowly but surely drawing more and more blood on her own chest.

'I'm sorry Catherine. I can't.'

She tried to pull the knife away from Catherine's skin as the sight of the other woman's blood was making her feel ill, but her strength had deserted her and she could only watch in horror as Catherine gripped the brunette's wrist and forced her to draw the blade across her pale skin. With a hiss of pain the redhead let go once a cut a few inches long had appeared. Sara could only watch in horror and had to fight the urge to vomit.

_I did that. The knife was in my hand. I hurt her._

Somewhere in the back of her mind she could hear Norton laughing gleefully.

'Again. Do it again. Once more and I'll let you go.'

Sara stared at the knife in her hand, the blood dripping down the handle onto her fingers. She could not feel anything. Her entire body felt numb. Catherine reached for her wrist again but she jerked backwards, hitting the headboard of the bed with a thump. Blue eyes found her own in an effort to reassure, but all Sara could see was pain.

_Pain that I inflicted. I hate myself._

A loud bang sounded somewhere off to her right but all Sara could do was continue to stare at the knife, completely mesmerised. She could hear a scuffle and knew she should probably pay attention but just did not have the willpower to say or do anything. Eventually she felt a hand underneath her chin, raising her gaze away from the knife. Now that her attention had been broken, she managed to take in the scene before her.

A group of uniformed officers were standing over the still form of Norton lying prone on the floor. Brass was reaching for the knife in her hand and she let it fall from her limp fingers into his large strong hands. When he moved to reach round her she flinched and he held up his hands in a peaceful gesture before snagging something from the inside of her vest. A listening device.

'I slipped it into your vest when Morgan tried to pull you back when we were outside. I figured you would need a helping hand in here.'

He held it up triumphantly and Sara could only stare at it listlessly.

'That was how you knew it was safe to come in, when he had taken the bomb off me.'

The sound of Catherine's voice startled Sara out of her stupor and she turned to face the redhead, who was still sitting beside her on the bed. Only now there was a large white gauze covering her chest where the knife had cut her.

_Where I cut her. Where I hurt her._

Catherine noticed the focus of Sara's gaze and quickly pulled her into a fierce hug.

'No. Don't you dare Sara Sidle. You saved my life. Do you hear me? You saved my life. And I love you so so much.'


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Sorry it's a bit short, but I wanted to end it this one at a particular point. Please let me know in a reivew if you liked/hated it.**

* * *

**Catherine POV**

The white bandage itched like hell, and Catherine felt self conscious with it poking out of the top of her white shirt, but she really had no other option. It was a blisteringly hot day in Vegas and there was no way she was wearing a jumper in this heat. She left the safety of her motel room and walked quickly to her car on the near side of the car park. Sitting in the driver's seat with the door still open, she tried to calm her heavy breathing. Being out in public since the events of the previous day made her nervous and she was constantly looking over her shoulder.

_He's dead. He's not going to hurt me anymore. Stop being such a wimp Catherine._

With a defiant nod of her head Catherine started her car and headed in the direction of the crime lab. She had already given her statement to Brass yesterday at the hospital and had been cleared to return to work. Nick and Morgan had gathered evidence from the warehouse and although she wouldn't be able to process it, she wanted to be there to help them interpret it.

_And I want to see Sara._

The redhead's hand involuntarily tightened on the wheel at the thought of the brunette. She had not been able to get in touch with Sara since they had both been taken to hospital yesterday. When giving her statement she had asked Brass to check up on her and he had returned looking awkward only to inform her that Sara had discharged herself a few hours ago.

_I have to see her. She blames herself. I have to tell her I love her._

Surprisingly, Catherine had felt no embarrassment at talking with Brass about her relationship with Sara. He had overheard her declaration of love in the warehouse so she had felt the need to try and explain. He had simply smiled and hugged her tightly.

_Now if only I could get her to talk to me, I might be able to find out if there still is a relationship to talk about._

Having arrived at the lab quicker than she had expected, Catherine sat in her car for a few moments trying to calm her nerves. She could see Sara's car across the lot so knew the younger woman was present in the building.

'Get a grip Willows.'

Grabbing her phone and purse, the redhead exited the car and strode confidently across the car park and into the building.

* * *

**Sara POV**

For what felt like the hundredth time that day, Sara smiled and thanked a nameless face that was asking if she was OK. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate their concern, they were after all colleagues even though she didn't know who most of them were, but there were only so many times she could recite the same answer without going crazy.

_And it's not even the truth._

'Shut up Sidle.'

She had hoped nobody had heard her grumbling to herself but such was her luck, Greg chose that moment to wander into the break room.

'Talking to yourself, that's the first sign of madness you know.'

A sarcastic remark had been on the tip of her tongue but when she looked up and saw his trademark cheeky grin, she couldn't help but smile. Added on to the fact that he was the first person she had seen all day who hadn't asked how she was, and Sara's mood actually lifted a little.

'I lost my marbles a long time ago Greg. You haven't seen them have you?'

The young man chuckled and wordlessly handed her a cup of his best coffee. Taking a sip, Sara slouched down into the comfortable couch and allowed her eyes to drift closed. She hadn't realised until that moment just how tired she was, but with the events of yesterday and her lack of sleep last night, she supposed it was to be expected.

_You only didn't sleep because you couldn't stop thinking about her you moron._

Frowning into her coffee, the brunette tried to remember the reasons she had left the hospital without talking to Catherine and had then ignored all her attempts at communication.

_Because you hurt her. You don't deserve her._

The brunette hadn't even noticed Greg sit down beside her until he leaned in close, a serious look on his face.

'You know, it sometimes helps to talk about it. I mean I know you and Morgan are girls and stuff and are quite close but...I'm here. You know, if you need me.'

Looking into his eyes, Sara saw a sincerity she didn't usually see with Greg. Normally he played the young, immature role so perfectly that nobody ever took him seriously but in that moment Sara felt that she could trust him with her deepest fears.

'Well, me and Catherine...'

That was as far as she got before Nick and Morgan burst into the break room, talking animatedly between each other. Sara sighed and let her eyes wander back down to her mug of coffee. Greg noticed her reluctance to talk in front of others and squeezed her shoulder gently before leaving the room.

_It's probably a good idea I didn't tell him anyway. He wouldn't speak to me anymore if he knew what I had done._

Sara could feel the tears threatening to fall and forced herself to think about something else. She painted what she hoped was a convincing fake smile on her face at Nick and Morgan trying to steal some of Greg's coffee without him noticing from across the hall and made some excuse about needing to go to the locker room. She walked quickly through the corridors, not making eye contact with anybody should they want to stop and talk. Finally finding the locker room door without any interruptions, she pushed it open gently and stepped inside, only to come face to face with the one person she was trying not to think about.

'Catherine.'


	15. Chapter 15

**Sara POV**

'Catherine.'

Sara froze, one hand on the handle of the door, the other held out in front of her like a barrier. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the white bandage poking out of the top of Catherine's shirt and the sight of it caused her to tense. The redhead must have sensed her unease at the situation because she leapt forward suddenly, grabbing the younger woman by the sleeve and pulling her completely into the room.

'Oh no you don't Sidle. You're not running away from me again. Sit.'

Not having the energy to object, Sara allowed Catherine to manoeuvre her down onto one of the benches and watched wordlessly as she locked the locker room door before dropping down beside her. Neither woman spoke for what seemed like an eternity, causing Sara to grow even more tense.

_I wish she would just get it over and done with and tell me it's over so I can leave. She can't even bring herself to look me in the eye._

Sara tried to stop her mind from wandering, but the longer the silence stretched on between them, the more she became convinced that Catherine hated her. Several times she heard the older woman draw breath as if about to speak before seeming to think better of it and keeping her silence. Finally, the lack of talking became too much for the brunette and she stood abruptly, pacing restlessly.

'Look, Catherine. You don't have to say anything. I know you probably hate me for what I did to you. I just want to say, I'll stay out of your way until you go back to Washington. I'm...I'm sorry.'

Without waiting for a reply, Sara headed straight for the door, unlocking and opening it in one swift movement before escaping from the room, and the one person she loved more than anything else.

* * *

**Catherine POV**

It took a moment for Sara's words to really sink in for Catherine. And by the time they had, the brunette was already out the door and heading towards the car park.

_She thinks I hate her? How could she think that? Oh come on Willows, you locked her in here to talk and then sat there in silence, are you really surprised? Go after her._

With a start the redhead rose from the bench and began walking quickly in the direction Sara had been headed. She made it no further than the corridor outside the locker room when she was nearly knocked down by Morgan.

'Oh Catherine, good. I was hoping to see you. About Sara...she thinks...'

'I know Morgan.'

Catherine interrupted the young woman quickly, eyeing the exit Sara had disappeared out of anxiously.

'Yes, well, you know that she loves...'

'I _know_ Morgan! Now if you don't mind, the love of my life is currently trying to drive away from me in a _very _compromised emotional state, and I need to get to her now. Alright?'

The blonde looked shocked at Catherine's outburst and simply nodded, standing aside. With a nod and an apologetic smile, Catherine turned away from her only to find herself face to face with Greg, Nick and DB, all of whom were sporting an expression similar to that of Morgan's.

_Dammit. Am I ever going to be able to catch her up?_

'That is _so _not how I wanted you guys to find out. Rain check?'

* * *

**Morgan POV**

The young blonde watched Catherine flying down the corridor before turning to find three expectant faces staring back at her.

_Oh boy, why do I get the feeling I'm about to get the third degree?_

'You knew?'

'Why didn't you tell us?'

'How long has it been going on?'

Releasing a breath she didn't even realise she had been holding, she made eye contact with eath of the men individually before speaking.

'So...who wants to help me process the car from the warehouse?'

Morgan turned and wandered down the corridor towards the garage with a smirk on her face. She knew Greg would definitely follow her, and she anticipated Nick would too. However she was unsure if DB would follow suit. Grabbing some coveralls from the counter, she pulled them on over her clothes and smiled widely when three male CSI's tumbled through the doorway.

_So maybe DB's more of a gossip queen than I imagined._

'Come on Morgan, don't leave us hanging.'

Greg's cheeky grin had always been a weak spot of hers and she finally relented, jumping up to sit on the counter.

'OK, so it all started when Sara turned up at my apartment one night with a suitcase...'

* * *

**Catherine POV**

Catherine hurtled down the corridor and out the front door of the crime lab at breakneck speed. Reaching the car park, she sighed in relief when she was Sara's car was still parked at the far end the lot. She spied the leggy brunette weaving in and out of the next row of cars and took off after her, reaching her just as she made it to her car.

'Sara, wait.'

The brunette turned at the mention of her voice and Catherine's heart broke at the look on her face. It was obvious she had been crying and her eyes showed a look of sheer devastation. The older woman slowed to a standstill beside her and took a moment to regain her breath.

'Wow, you're fast.'

Placing a hand on Sara's shoulder to steady herself, Catherine composed herself before taking a step closer to the younger woman, relieved when she didn't pull away. Taking a quick look around, she noticed that their position was somewhat concealed by the rows of cars so leaned in and captured Sara's lips with her own. The kiss was short was passionate and left Catherine feeling light headed afterwards.

'I could never hate you Sara.'

The words were whispered against the brunette's lips as Catherine couldn't bear to pull any further away from the other woman. She leaned in again for another kiss with Sara eagerly returned. This time the kiss deepened and became more passionate. Catherine let out a moan when she felt Sara's hands on her hips and found herself pushed up against the nearest car. When those same hands began to wander higher up her body, she lost all track of rational thought.

_Oh God. What is she doing to me?_

Just when she was really beginning to enjoy herself, she felt Sara's fingertips brush against the edge of her bandage and immediately the younger woman stiffened and pulled away.

'Oh God Catherine, I am so sorry. I...I don't deserve you. You have to leave.'

Sara had tried to move away from her, but with the car in the adjacent space she hadn't been able to move very far and the redhead was able to wrap her up in her arms easily.

'Baby, it wasn't your fault. Please believe me. Look...'

Catherine grabbed one of Sara's hands and placed it above her heart.

'Feel that? That is still beating because of you. If you hadn't done what you did...I wouldn't be alive right now. Neither of us would. And that is something I wasn't prepared to happen. I'm glad you did this. Because it means I can do this.'

Without waiting for a response Catherine kissed Sara again. This time however, the other woman did not respond, and pulled back again. There were tears in her eyes and it hurt Catherine terribly to see her this upset. The redhead watched helplessly as Sara removed her keys from her jacket pocket and climbed into her car. She wound down her window as she started the engine and looked at Catherine one more time.

'You should go back to DC Catherine. I'll only hurt you again if you stay.'

A few seconds later, the sound of an engine roaring and the haze of disturbed gravel were the only signs that Catherine had not been alone in the car park.

'But I love you.'

Catherine whispered to herself, as tears fell freely down her face.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Apologies this has taken longer than usual, I've had a pretty hectic week. There's only one chapter left after this one, so please let me know what you think in a review. If you have any ideas/requests I'll be happy to take them for my next fic.**

* * *

**Sara POV**

It had been a week since Catherine had gone back to DC, taking Sara's heart with her. After their conversation in the crime lab parking lot, the two women hadn't spoken at all. This was not for a lack of trying on Catherine's part; she had tried to contact Sara everyday but the brunette had gone out of her way to avoid her at all costs.

_I don't deserve her. I'll only hurt her. She's better off back in DC._

Sighing to herself, Sara tried to concentrate on the evidence laid out before her. The longer she went without speaking to the redhead, the harder it became to continue to convince herself that was true. The look on Catherine's face as she had driven away from her still haunted the younger woman, and the knowledge that she had been the one too put that look there was something she wouldn't be forgiving herself for any time soon.

_If I hadn't allowed anything to happen, she wouldn't have gotten hurt at all. She would have gone back to DC after we finished this case and carried on with ehr life without me having ruined it._

'You know, self depreciation really doesn't suit you.'

Sara looked up in shock at the owner of the voice in the doorway to the lab. She hadn't heard Morgan approach so when the young CSI had spoken the sudden noise had startled her.

'How did you know I was engaging in self depreciation?'

Morgan moved completely into the room before answering, taking a seat on a tall chair beside Sara.

'It's been what, a week since Catherine left? I don't know what happened between you two and I respect that you don't want to talk about it, but it was written all over your face that you blame yourself.'

Morgan looked apprehensive for a moment, as if she was wary of how Sara would react to her statement. A thought seemed to cross her mind then and she immediately became concerned.

'God Sara, she didn't...I mean, she didn't call things off because of what happened did she?'

Sara shot up from her chair then, a look of complete and utter shock on her face.

'NO!'

Shaking her head frantically, she began to pace the lab.

'God, no. She would never do something like that, she doesn't have it in her. It was me, I told her to leave. She doesn't need somebody like me who is going to hurt her like that.'

Silently taking in the brunette's body language and allowing her words to sink in, Morgan took a moment to think over her words carefully before answering. It was clear that Sara blamed herself for what had happened with James Norton.

'Sara...you saved her life. And she loves you. You need to get over this and call her.'

Sara stopped pacing then and looked at Morgan with a shocked look plastered over her face.

'Call her? Oh no, no I can't do that. Even if I, how did you put it? 'Got over this' she wouldn't want to speak to me now.'

Slumping despondently back into her chair, the brunette rested her head in her hands and stared glumly down at the evidence lying long forgotten on the table.

'Um...what if I told you that I know that isn't the case?'

Morgan almost regretted opening her mouth when Sara met her gaze with an inquiring look.

'How would you know that?'

The blonde shifted uncomfortably in her seat, squirming under the older woman's gaze. Finally she seemed to come to a decision and shifted so that she was facing Sara completely.

'OK...you have to promise not to say anything alright? Cause I'm not even supposed to know.'

_What on Earth is she talking about? I wish she would just spit it out already! _

On Sara's eager nod, Morgan continued.

'Well, I stayed at my Dad's last night and I overheard him talking on the phone to somebody about taking a job in the Sheriff's office. Some sort of Forensic Liaison Officer. I dunno, anyway my point is this...it turns out he was talking to Catherine. And she turned him down.'

_What? So she had the chance to come back to Vegas and she turned it down? She must not have wanted to be around me._

'I fail to see how this is working in my favour Morgan.'

Sara began to tidy away her evidence, noting that the end of shift was fast approaching and wanting to get out of the lab as quickly as possible. It held too many memories for her now, too many reminders of a certain somebody so gone were the days she would pull doubles just for the hell of it.

'OK well please don't get mad, but after I overheard that conversation...I rang Catherine myself.'

On hearing those words the brunette froze, evidence half way between the table and the case file she was locking it away in.

'You what? What did she say?'

_Dammit Sidle! You don't need to know that._

'Well this is where it gets good for you, if you would only pull your head out your ass. She told me she turned the job down because she couldn't bear seeing you everyday knowing that you didn't love her the way she loves you.'

Morgan wasn't so oblivious that she didn't notice the tears threatening to fall from Sara's eyes at that admission, and she continued on in a softer voice.

'She's crazy about you Sara. Anyone can see that. Please, call her.'

Morgan left Sara alone then, a million thoughts whirling around in her head.

_Is Morgan right? Should I call her? Everyone deserves the chance for happiness right? Am I really only hurting her more by pushing her away? Arrrggghhh!_

With a gentle shove, she pushed the case file back into its storage locker and headed for the locker room. Finding the room empty, she grabbed her cell phone from her locker and moved to the back of the room. Pacing anxiously for a long time, she fingered the call button on her cell multiple times, backing out at the last second before the call actually went through.

_This is ridiculous. I should at least call her. Why am I so nervous? Because I love her. I love her._

Finally making a decision, the brunette took a seat on the nearest bench and pressed the call button on her cell before she could change her mind once again. It rang only twice before it was answered and the voice she had missed so much the last week filtered through over the line.

'Hi Catherine it's me...Sara.'


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Well this is it, the final chapter. Thanks to all who reviewed or added alerts along the way, I hope this last chapter is enjoyable for you all.**

* * *

**Sara POV**

Pacing back and forth nervously, Sara looked at her watch for what felt like the hundredth time since she had arrived at the airport.

_She's not coming. I knew it. Her flight landed an hour ago, she changed her mind._

Checking the arrivals board once more to check she wasn't mistaken, the brunette went over last night's conversation once more in her head.

_She had sounded pleased to hear from me. She agreed to come to Vegas and talk straight away. So why isn't she here?_

With one last look at her watch, Sara sighed despondently and turned to leave the arrival lounge. She was stopped in her tracks however when she came face to face with a set of bright blue eyes.

'Leaving without me?'

The smirk on Catherine's face suggested she was joking but Sara caught the slight waver in her voice that proved she had been genuinely worried that Sara might leave without her.

'I thought you might have changed your mind...your flight landed an hour ago.'

Catherine reached behind herself and unconsciously touched her bag at Sara's comment.

'Yeah sorry about that. I stopped by the store to get a present for Lindsey and the battery on my phone has died so I couldn't let you know. Time just ran away from me, you know how I am with shopping.'

Sara couldn't stay mad at the redhead for long when she was rewarded with one of Catherine's killer smiles, and she let her previous fears and insecurities slide away. Taking the other woman's bag, she led her out to her car and they drove in silence to Morgan's apartment. Once inside, Sara indicated for Catherine to make herself comfortable in the living room while she busied herself with making some drinks.

'Morgan's staying with Ecklie tonight. They've really gotten closer the last couple of weeks.'

The brunette entered the living room carrying two glasses of wine, which Catherine raised an eyebrow at, causing Sara to grin sheepishly.

'I figured we could loosen up a bit first before we talk.'

Catherine nodded, grasping one of the offered glasses and taking two large gulps of the deep red liquid. Sara chuckled at her behaviour as she took a smaller sip of her own drink.

_She's so cute. God how I love this woman. I hope I haven't ruined everything._

The two women made small talk for a while, catching up on each other's lives form the time they had spent apart. It only served to make Sara more aware of what she would be missing out on if she could not get over her guilt of Catherine's injury. Deciding she needed a bit of space between them to clear her head, she leaned forward to place her half empty wine glass on the coffee table. Unfortunately, Catherine had the same idea and they bumped arms as they both leaned forward, causing Catherine's wine to spill down the front of her blouse. Sara leapt up immediately and ran to the kitchen to retrieve a cloth.

'God I'm so sorry Catherine. Here, let me try to get it out.'

Coming back into the room, Sara tried in vain to dab away at the spoiled shirt as Catherine held it gingerly away from her skin.

'Sara, it's not going to come out, I'll just take it off.'

The redhead smirked at the panicked look on Sara's face at her exclamation, knowing her comment had had the desired effect.

_She...she...she can't. Topless Catherine? How am I going to concentrate on our conversation then?_

'Get your mind out the gutter Sidle, I've got a vest top on underneath.'

Sara nodded quickly and dropped the cloth in her hand onto the coffee table. She tried not to look as Catherine removed her shirt but the other woman was standing merely inches from her and she couldn't help but watch with interest as more of the redhead's skin was revealed. As her eyes travelled upwards, they landed on the angry red scar that now marred Catherine's chest, and Sara's guilt immediately returned. She averted her eyes and sat down on the couch, her whole body tensing up.

**Catherine POV**

Catherine realised a second too late what removing her shirt would mean for the brunette. It wasn't until she noticed the younger woman wringing her hands nervously and staring at the ground that she even realised her wound was on show.

'Shit, Sara, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, you know...'

She trailed off, unsure how to even finish the sentence.

_Dammit, things were going so well too. What do I have to do to make her see?_

Standing awkwardly in the middle of the room with her ruined shirt in one hand, Catherine waited for Sara to do or say anything at all.

_You'll be waiting a long time Willows. It's time to take action._

Sighing loudly enough that she knew Sara would hear her, Catherine threw her shirt in the general direction of the kitchen and in a rather unexpected move she climbed onto Sara's lap.

'You know what Sara? Fuck it. If you're not going to say anything, then I will.'

Grabbing the younger woman's hand, she placed it on her chest, directly over her wound. Wrapping her own hand around the other woman's, she forced her to trace the same path the deep cut took across her chest. Sara resisted at first, but Catherine was stronger. With her free hand, she grasped Sara's chin and pulled her eyes in the direction of their still joined hands.

'Look at it.'

_Please work. Please please work._

She forced herself to breathe calmly as Sara's fingers continued to trace lightly over her injury. It didn't hurt, but the feeling of the other woman's touch was sending shivers down her spine. Leaning forward, she made sure their contact was maintained as she began to whisper into the brunette's ear.

'You know what I think of when I see this in the mirror? I don't think of the time you cut me with a knife, I think of the time you saved my life. You saved me Sara. If you hadn't done what you did, I'd be dead right now. I can never thank you enough for that.'

Pulling back slightly the redhead caught Sara's eye just in time to see her gulp nervously and allow the slightest of nods.

_It's working. I think I'm getting through to her!_

'When you look at this, I don't want you to think of hurting me, I want you to think of something else. So...'

Catherine paused, biting her lip nervously.

_This is it. Either she pushes me off and runs away or I've got her right where I want her._

'...kiss it.'

Sara looked shocked, something which didn't surprise Catherine. Tangling her hands in long brunette locks, she eased Sara's mouth down onto her chest, giving her a reassuring smile and nod. When the younger woman's lips made tentative contact with her skin, she couldn't help but let out a moan. Tightening her grip in Sara's hair, she pulled the younger woman as close to her as she possibly could.

'God Sara...'

The words were out of her mouth before she even had time to think about them. It had been far too long since she had felt the touch of the other woman and she was easily getting carried away. Deciding to put the last part of her plan into action before she lost all rational thought, she rolled her hips against the woman beneath her, groaning again when their bodies rubbed pleasurably against each other.

'Baby, you feel so good. Please don't stop.'

Much to her disappointment however, Sara did stop then. She looked down expecting to find the brunette looking scared and wanting to run, but was relieved to find darkened lust filled brown eyes staring back at her.

'Catherine, I...'

The redhead quickly placed a finger over Sara's lips, silencing her.

'Sssshhh. Later we'll talk. Right now, I want you to take me to bed.'

Sara seemed to think about this for a second before nodding and without warning, she rose from the couch. Catherine reacted quickly and wrapped her legs around the brunette's waist to stop herself from falling. Together, they stumbled into the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind them.

* * *

**Sara POV**

The light filtering in through the gaps in her blind woke Sara, and she blinked against the harshness as her brain adjusted to being awake. Turning her head, she couldn't help the smile that crossed her face as she watched the beautiful redhead sleeping soundly beside her.

_That was...amazing. I can't deny myself this, who am I kidding? I love this woman._

Just then Catherine rolled over onto her back, still asleep, and her movements caused the sheet to slip down slightly exposing the top of her chest. Sara bit her lip at the wave of lust that washed over her as the older woman's breasts were exposed to her.

_God, the things we did last night. I don't think I could go back now even if I wanted to._

As her eyes travelled higher, they came across the wound on the redhead's chest, and even after the events of the last few hours Sara could not stop the feelings of guilt that rose up. Taking one look at Catherine's peaceful sleeping face, the brunette let her eyes flick back to the injury and forced herself to push aside those feelings. With a deep breath, Sara leaned forward and pressed her lips lightly to the cut, tracing a path from one end to the other. Her actions caused Catherine to stir, and when she lifted her head she found herself face to face with the most beautiful smile she had ever seen.

'Hey.'

Sara lay back down on the bed and snuggled into Catherine's side. To her own surprise, she laid a hand protectively over the redhead's chest, stroking the injury gently.

'Does this mean...we can be together?'

Insecurity was something Sara had never seen on Catherine, but she decided then that it was the cutest thing she had ever witnessed. Leaning up on one elbow, she tenderly brushed a lock of hair out of the redhead's face.

'I won't ever be able to forgive myself for what I did. But...I realise now that it's not worth missing out on something like this. I love you Catherine, and I want to be with you. I was hoping, well...maybe you would reconsider Ecklie's job offer?'

The brunette fiddled nervously with the edge of the sheet while she waited for Catherine's reply. When she didn't get one she looked up, prepared to take back what she had said only to find herself engaged in a fiery passionate kiss. When the two women finally broke apart for air, both had huge smiles on their faces.

'I guess I'd better start house hunting.'


End file.
